Raising Meridian
by VladimirsAngel
Summary: A collaborative fic from VladimirsAngel & Syvia. An update! It's a miracle! Chapter 12, in which Sebastian reveals what he keeps under his clothes, Old Kain makes a horrifying discovery and Krobelus gets a surprise...
1. Meridian Rising

**RAISING **MERIDIAN********

VladimirsAngel_: *voiceover*_ _Welcome__ back, dear readers, to another tall tale from the Nexus: for the uninitiated, the Nexus is a meeting place of worlds, a dimension between dimensions, wherein dwell Vladimir Mikhail, keeper of the world-gates, and Lupa d'Acosta, wolf-girl and cross-dimensional pervert. __Vladimir__'s house is distinguished by its houseguests and by the fact that it has a warp-gate leading to Nosgoth in its back garden. Currently in residence? Raziel, Reaver of Souls and Stealer of Duvets (in the red corner) Kain, Vampire Ruler of Nosgoth (who never does the washing up) Kurt Wagner (mutant and chocaholic) and Krobelus, Mage of Urath (is a big hit at children's parties). _

_*VladimirsAngel nudges Syvia, who grins a bit nervously and clears her throat.*_

Syvia_: I wrote a speech. *holds up a little piece of paper and looks at it.... squints and looks at it...* But it seems that my handwriting is so horrendous that not even I can read it. *crumples up the paper and tosses it over her shoulder* _

_The long and short of it is this, I've been wanting to work on a fic with Angel for some time now, and she offered to let me in on her newest project. I jumped at the chance... and hit my head on the ceiling, had to have bandages for a week, but the swelling went down quickly-_

VladimirsAngel_: *coughs* Bit off topic there._

Syvia:_ Again- I jumped at the chance to write some antics within Angel's universe and bring an original character in as well._

_Mini Disclaimer: Celia Cameron belongs to me, but her great grandparents and the system of magic she practices belong to Mercedes Lackey. I am not making any money from this fic. _

VladimirsAngel:_ Major disclaimer now! You know it – we don't own LOK. Kain, Raziel and Nosgothian folks belong to Eidos and various clever creators. Kurt Wagner belongs to Marvel Comics, and Krobelus to Volition. Now. On with the story, we've gibbered long enough. _

**Chapter One: Demons go "Boom"**

A fine evening in the Nexus: Vladimir is critically inspecting the temperature in his new swimming pool as the last light of the sunset gleams from the arch of the warp-gate at the bottom of the back garden.

Vladimir: Cold again. 

He clicks his teeth angrily.

Raziel, who is lazily doing the backstroke in the pool, does not seem bothered.

Raziel: Feels warm enough to me.

Vladimir: *peevishly* Well it would do, wouldn't it? See, _I'm a warm-blooded mammal, and _you're_ a cold-blooded…um…ex-vampire…thing…_

Raziel: *sourly* So nice to be appreciated. I love you too.

He vaults out of the pool and shakes all over Vladimir, pointedly.

Vladimir: *wiping water out of his eyes* You know, I should have expected _you_ to hold a grudge….

Raziel: Damn straight.

The warp-gate flares into life in a spectacular display of pyrotechnics, bathing Vladimir's house in eldritch green light. Upstairs, Lupa opens her window and leans out to watch.

Lupa: *calls down* I thought Kain was teaching Krobelus how to play Patience…

Vladimir: He is.

Lupa looks at Raziel, who is towelling his hair, then again at the Nosgoth gate. 

Lupa: Then who…?

Vladimir: Aaaah! Janos! Quick, get the dust-sheets out of the woodshed! I will NOT have black pin-feathers in my new cream chenille settee!!

Lupa: *wearily* Janos is on holiday. He went last week.

Raziel: He sent me a note asking me to cancel the blood and look after the peasants. 

The gate glows brighter and the air begins to hum with tension and power. Lightning crackles from around the gate's arch.

The Reaver curls into life around Raziel's arm.

Raziel: *looking shrewdly up at Lupa* Demon?

Lupa: *nods* Demon. Most likely.

Raziel: *pushing Vladimir gently out of the way and making a practice pass with the wraith-blade* Step back, ladies. Demon go "booooom". 

Vladimir: *inscensed* Ladies!!?

Kurt's head appears by Lupa's in the window.

Kurt: What's going on?

Lupa: Demon.

Raziel: Which is going to go "boom" in a very short time.

Vladimir: *bordering on hysterically* Make him stop saying that!

Lupa: Calm down, Mir, my lovey. 

The gate finally opens fully and disgorges its burden into the grass of Vladimir's back paddock. The figure is certainly not demon-sized, and lies face-down in the mud without making any move. It has long moon-pale hair, and an empty sheath for a long sword lies flat across its back.

Vladimir: *squints in the twilight* Is that…Dante?

Lupa squeaks in delight and disappears from the window. 

Raziel: *sniffs* Oh, no. Not him again. 

Vladimir: Oh, I forgot you'd met…

Raziel: *puts claws on hip and does a cruelly accurate imitation* "Let's rock, baby…." - how could I forget?

Vladimir laughs and Lupa hurries out from the house and over to the still figure.

Vladimir: He's compensating for something. Those guns…the sword…

Raziel: *looking at the wraith-blade, which is almost as long as he is tall* What are you implying exactly?

Lupa: *on her knees by the figure* uh…guys…

Vladimir: *realising his mistake* Oh…nothing…

Raziel: *cross* Compensating for what?

Lupa: *louder* guys?

Vladimir: *desperately* For not having a decent catchphrase.

Raziel frowns, unconvinced.

Lupa: HEY!

They both look at her.

Lupa: This is not Dante.

Vladimir: W-what?

Lupa: *exasperated* Are you both deaf? This is not Dante. He's got the same colour hair and he's insanely cute, but he's not Dante.

Vladimir: *coming over* Not Dante?

Raziel: *with a slight edge to his voice* Insanely cute, you say?

Vladimir kneels by the figure and half-lifts him up onto one knee. The newcomer slumps bonelessly, and his fangs gleam in the growing dark.

Raziel: *to Lupa* what qualifies as insanely cute, then?

Vladimir: *beginning to get angry as he checks the newcomer over* Do I have a sign up or something? "Vladimir's House, nice rooms, running water optional, all vampires should apply"?

Lupa: _Another vampire?_

Raziel: *not willing to let this one drop* So…what was I when I was a vampire? Did I qualify as insanely cute, or was I merely mildly schizophrenically cute?

Lupa: *patting his arm* Let it go, sweetie.

She helps Vladimir lift the unconscious vampire and carry him towards the house. Kurt is already at the door, and behind him the lamplight catches the metal of the mage's armour: obviously the lure of a possible demon battle has lured Kain and his Patience partner out of the Silent Hill room in the basement.

Kurt: Who's that?

Lupa: Don't know. Vampire.

Krobelus: *frowning* A vampire you don't know and you're bringing him indoors?

Lupa: You're a necromancer. Why would it bother you?

They are doing really well until Kain steps into the corridor with an ugly look on his greenish demon's face. He sees the stranger and blanches.

Vladimir: *eyeing the eau-de-nil shade of the old vampire's skin* You know, that's exactly the colour I wanted for re-painting the bathroom. Hold that thought while I fetch the curtain swatches.

Lupa: What's wrong, Kain?

Kain: *almost speechless* What is _he_ doing here? Get him out. This minute!

Raziel: *instantly suspicious and enjoying Kain's discomfort* You know, I think we should let Whitey here stay. I've taken a liking to him.

Vladimir: Is this one of your boys, then? I might have known. You're to tell them that this is not a holiday camp! I don't have the room space. I'm already having the loft converted…

The white-haired vampire groans and shudders as he starts to regain consciousness.

Lupa: *stroking his brow* Poor baby. He's hurt.

Vladimir: *slapping her hand away* Wolf-slut! Leave him alone! You don't know where he's been!

Kain: *sighs* Unfortunately, I do. 

Everyone looks at him.

Raziel: *threatening tone* Oh please. Don't leave us hanging, or I might have to return the favour.

Kain: Doesn't he look the least bit familiar to any of you?

Lupa: *immediately* No way! He's cuter than anyone I kn -

Vladimir diplomatically clamps a hand over her mouth.

Kain: No?

The young white-haired vampire opens eyes as red as fresh blood and blinks up at his rescuers. His gaze fixes upon Kain and his expression becomes confused, quizzical.

Kain: He's _me, you fools. Me from several centuries ago._

Vladimir drops the vampire like a hot brick. 

Lupa: *angrily, turning on Old Kain and Raziel* Were you ALL adorable when you were younger?! It's not fair! Why do I only ever get to meet the wrinkly versions?

Raziel: Well, that's not strictly true, is it….

Kain: *furious* _Wrinkly?!_

Lupa: *equally cross* Yeah, _wrinkly. And __green, and vaguely chitinous. _

And she flicks him in the head to prove her point. 


	2. Dualism

**RAISING MERIDIAN**

**Chapter 2 : Dualism**

Young Kain, sniffing suspiciously at the mixed scents of his rescuers, bares his fangs and hisses. Old Kain leans down and bellows into his face like an angry tiger. Young Kain does a moment's stunned double-take, eyes wide with shock, then struggles defiantly to his feet, still hissing like a scalded cat. He is favouring one arm.

Old Kain: *disdainfully* Show some respect, whelp!

Kurt: *to the younger vampire* What happened to you?

Young Kain: *sharply* Who are you, half-breed peasant filth? How dare you speak to me in that familiar manner?

Old Kain: *smacks him* Manners! Honestly!

Raziel: *who is enjoying this immensely* Oh, I don't know. I rather like him.

Old Kain: *furious* Be quiet, Raziel. Everyone knows you have no taste. 

Vladimir: *suddenly fearful* Is he bleeding? Oh, my god, he is. He's bleeding on my new carpet. Someone tell him to stop. 

Lupa approaches the young vampire with trepidation.

Lupa: *softly* I just want to look at your wound. 

Young Kain growls, but a deeper growl from his older self makes him think better of it. He reluctantly holds out his injured arm and winces as Lupa examines it.

Krobelus: *dryly* Someone try to stake you, vampire?

Young Kain looks daggers at him. The necromancer, being almost a vampire lord's equal in the arrogance stakes, is unimpressed. 

Young Kain: My _name_ is Kain, fool. 

Raziel: *never one to miss an opportunity* Then I shall call you fool, for short.

Lupa: *aside, to the mage* It's not serious. Will you heal him?

Krobelus sighs and waves a hand vaguely. Young Kain watches the ragged edges of his wound seal together under the golden mage-fire with interest. 

Vladimir: Kain -

They both look at him.

Vladimir: Oh, this is ridiculous. You. Teenage pin-up Kain.

Young Kain: *horrified* Who, _me?_

Raziel: Yes, you. Don't argue. You're lucky you still have your boyish good looks.

Old Kain: *in a rare moment of clarity* And he's hardly going to be talking about me, is he? Look at me. I'm green and vaguely chitinous. 

He looks sulkily at Lupa, who sticks her tongue out at him unrepentantly.

Young Kain looks around the room, from Kurt (who is perched comfortably on the sofa-back, devil's tail switching) through Krobelus and Vladimir with his lion's ears and paws, past his older self (who is currently trying to see if his tongue is also green) past Raziel (who is enjoying the whole situation far more than is healthy for him) and finally to Lupa, who is staring at him as if he isn't quite real.

Young Kain: *bewildered and still angry* Who _are_ you people?

Lupa: I'm Lupa. This *she points to people in turn* is Vladimir, the one who fixed your arm is Krobelus, the bright blue one is Kurt, the paler blue one is Raziel -

Raziel: *nastily* Nice to meet you. I'm sure we're destined to be great friends. Who knows? We may even turn out to be golfing buddies.

Lupa: *gives him a look that says, quite clearly, "put a sock in it, Raz"* - and that one there…well…he's sort of you. 

The Kains regard each other with mutual loathing.

Young Kain: Really?

Old Kain: *heavily, in a I-dare-you-to-make-something-of-it tone* Really.

Young Kain starts pacing the room, looking haunted.

Young Kain: And where am I?

Vladimir: This is my house. Are you going to be staying?

Young Kain looks even more pitifully confused.

Vladimir: Because if you are, you have to sleep in the woodshed. And I don't have enough blood in the fridge for both you and him…I mean you and _you…Oh, I think I have to sit down. _

He does so.

Kurt: *concerned* Are you all right, Vladimir?

Vladimir has buried his face in his hands.

Vladimir: All this temporal instability - two Kains in the same place at the same time…it's giving me a headache…

He looks up and the group react badly to the sight of his face. His eyes, one yellow, one blue, are glowing like flame.

Vladimir: What?

He reaches up as if to wipe away tears, and his fingers come away red. This is a symptom common only among Gatekeepers - when the gates are going wrong, they speak in no uncertain terms to their minder. 

Vladimir: The gates…

He scrambles to his feet.

Vladimir: *angrily, to Young Kain* What did you do to my _gates_?!


	3. Prissy Vampires

**RAISING ****MERIDIAN******

_Sorry I've been away for a while. There's been a worm in my computer. And not in a good tequila-type way either…review responses in a chapter or so, I promise!_

_Syvia__: *shakes her head and goes back to "Restoring Balance"*_

While all this excitement is kicking off at Vladimir's, on the _other_ side of town, another young vampire picks himself off the grass on which he's inexplicably found himself laying and brushes off his black pants and vivid red shirt-coat.   
  


Faustus: *puts his hands to his temples* Gods, what a headache. That is the _last_ time I use a warp gate, whether I'm tracking Kain or not... let Sebastian follow him. I can only imagine what that fool will say. *mimicking a disdainful, static-muffled voice* You should have called for backup when you found Kain. *in his own voice* As if I needed help to kill that imbecile.   
  


The flamboyantly-dressed vampire feels over his head, grimacing at the bumps in his formerly smoothly-pulled-back tail of hair. He lets the wave of ebony down from its confines, pulls out a small wide-toothed comb and begins grooming himself. A young man in a studded leather coat with facial hair the color of cotton-candy slows as he walks past the vampire, staring.   
  


Faustus: *noticing him* Does it look well? *he pats the tail a little*   
  


The young man nods, his expression oddly strained, and continues walking.   
  


Faustus: Good enough. Now... dinner.   
  
  
  
  
  


Three blocks away from the disoriented vampire, the Earth gate flares into life and, as gates do when they're working more or less in order, opens smoothly, admits a single passenger, and closes after the traveller has moved a few steps away. She walks straight to a bench and sits down, pulling her voluminous skirts just high enough to slip off the small brown heeled boot on her foot and massages it.   
  


Celia: Never again. They can beg, plead, Tybalt can send the sylphs and mix all my paints, I don't care! They will not truss me up in this straight-jacket ensemble _ever again.   
  
_

She pulls out a pair of tennis-shoes which are completely incongruous with the flower-print valise in which they've been stored, as well as the brown nineteen-twenty something skirt and shirtwaist she wears.   
  


Celia: *pulling on the shoes* It's oddly dark for eight p.m. ... I can never manage to get used to Nexus time.... *shrugs, looking around* Well, so long as I don't have to walk home.   
  


The young woman stands, tossing her boots into the bag and hefting it in one hand. The skirt drops over her shoes, hiding them from sight. She scans the busy streets and parked cars, looking for something, or some_one_. By her steadily darkening expression, it is apparent that she doesn't see them.

The smile that replaces it bore more than a passing resemblance to a wolf baring her teeth.   
  


Celia: I am going to kill him.   
  
  
  


Five minutes later, Celia is walking down the street, a light blush on her cheeks and a determined look on her face. Several people give her a wide berth. Faustus is not one of these people.   
  


Faustus: *flashing the widest smile he can without showing his fangs* Milady! It is far too late at night for such an attractive woman to walk about unescorted. Please, allow me to help you to your destination and keep the ruffians at bay.   
  


Celia: *warming only slightly to Faustus' good looks* You are too kind, sir, but truly, I will be well on my own. *tries to walk around him*   
  


Faustus: *steps in her way* Please? I would be worried about you out in the night. *offers her his arm*   
  


Celia: You offer to help me without knowing where I wish to go or if it is on the way to _your destination?   
  
_

Faustus: *turns up the charm, still smiling* Gladly.   
  


Celia: *finally smiles* Then you are a true gentleman. *loops her arm with his*   
  


Faustus: What brings you here to... *looks up at the street sign* Dark Star Street? _(*grins* Nexus roads tend to have names rather than numbers…this may have to change if it expands any further!!!)_  
  


Celia: *chuckles* I was supposed to meet a friend at the world gate, but it seems I have been forgotten.   
  


Faustus: *indignant expression* How could anyone forget _you_?   
  


Celia: *rolls her eyes* Easily, considering my friend.   
  


Faustus stifles a gleeful smile at the thought that she isn't likely to be missed for some time and they continue to walk.   
  


Faustus: Have you lived here long?   
  


Celia: Your first time in the Nexus?   
  


Faustus: *chagrined smirk* How did you guess?   
  


Celia: You have the look of a child in a candy store every time someone walks by; you've never seen the like and you're wondering how close you can get before a store keeper slaps your hand for taking without intent to buy. ... Or is that simply because you're a vampire?   
  


Faustus: *flinches* What do you mean?   
  


Celia: You've been eyeing my collar and mentally undressing my neck. I _have _met vampires before.   
  


Faustus: *steering the distracted woman down an alleyway* I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about!   
  


Celia halts by a dripping downspout and the puddle of water that has collected beneath it. Faustus stops as well, still holding her arm.   
  


Celia: Alabaster two-forty-six. *smiles at Faustus' baffled expression* That's the name of a paint color that is so white I never use it for flesh-tone when I do portraits. *runs her index finger down his cheek and he smiles again* It is the exact color of your skin. *shrugs* Aside from that, there is your conspicuous lack of pulse....   
  


Faustus grabs her by her upper arms and pins her back against the wall.   
  


Faustus: Beauty and observational skills... both very dangerous qualities to have.   
  


Celia: *raising an eyebrow* You're going to drain me based on looks alone? How rude... you never even asked about my family or what I do for a living-   
  


Faustus: Sweetling, it's only a one-night drink, I've had a thousand girls like you. *leans forward*   
  


Celia: *mockingly curious* You've had a thousand Watermasters? I'm impressed...   
  


Faustus: *furrowing his brow* Water- _whats_?   
  


Celia: *smiling dangerously* Masters.   
  


Faustus hears a noise behind him and turns. An inch from his nose, large as life and twice as wet, is a girl constructed wholly out of water, smirking cruelly at him from under seaweed locks of hair. She leans forward, parting her lips sensuously and kisses him. Faustus screams like a little girl and pulls away, scrubbing at his burning lips. The creature reaches for him, swishing her hips. The vampire slips in another puddle and falls to the ground.   
  


Celia: I think she likes you. Undines are known for their *clears her throat, amusedly* lusty natures. A few more seconds and she'll have her hands all over you.   
  


The Undine seems to roll down the street and over Faustus' jacket, staining the lovely red cloth of his jacket to a deep maroon. Faustus doesn't actually notice this, (straining as he is to lean away from the Undine's searching lips) until the water soaks through his coat and into his skin. He screams again, rolling away from the water-being and ripping off his coat. Celia grins in appreciation at the (slightly red and burning) but still impressive expanse of white flesh.   
  


Celia: No eating and all running, vampy-boy?   
  


Faustus spares a growl at the watermage and jumps up, and up to the top of the near-by building. Celia walks over to the shirt-coat and holds it up towards the fleeing vampire.   
  


Celia: *smirking* You forgot your jacket!   
  


The brunette shakes out said article of clothing as the Undine wanders back to her, growing smaller as she flows over the cobblestone street. Celia uses her magic on the jacket and water begins to drip steadily from the hem. When it is dry, she pulls on the vermilion trophy and grins at the water-girl.   
  


Celia: That was wonderful. *sighs* I guess you'd better keep close. I've got a feeling that is not the last we'll see of _him.   
  
_

The Undine, now the height of Celia's ankle, sniffs primly and follows her mistress back onto the main street. The Watermaster, wearing emerald-green sneakers, a crimson jacket two sizes too big for her, and a lace-trimmed antique of a dress, continues her walk with a significant bounce in her step.


	4. Vamps Without Shirts and Other Meetings

**RAISING **MERIDIAN** **

Back at Vladimir's house:

Young Kain: *angrily* I have done _nothing to you, scrawny feline person. _

Vladimir: *mournfully rubbing his aching eyes* Well someone's messed with the temporal and dimensional shift on the bloody things, that's for sure…and you two temporally misplaced misfits are the most likely culprits.

In the midst of this confusion, the front door can be heard slamming open.  This goes unnoticed by many of those standing in the room, but what happens next does not.  

Celia: *raging tempest voice* Vladimir Mikhail!

Vladimir: *hisses in a breath*  So THAT'S what I forgot today... I knew there was something.

Lupa: *utter disbelief* _You_ had a _date?_

Vladimir: Ohhh, not even close…

Celia: *advancing on him furiously: Vladimir backs up against a wall* You sieve-brained, fumble-pawed, cheese-fearing idiot! How _could you?!  I had to walk across town- in petticoats, AND A CORSET!  _

Lupa: *looks almost amused, but manages to control it*  I have to ask - why the corset?

Celia: Costume party, my relatives coerced me into dressing up as my great-grandma.  

Kurt: *polite and savagely curious* Sounds…interesting. How did that go?

Celia: Oh, it was wonderful, Tybalt got his pet sylph to follow me around and somehow I kept my undine from becoming jealous, I'll never quite know how I pulled _that_ one off.

Old Kain leans across to Raziel.

Old Kain:  Her _what?_

Raziel shrugs helplessly.

Celia: *surveying the motley collection in the room* So these would be the houseguests you told me about?

Vladimir: *nods*  Well, Lupa you know, or should, as I've said enough things about her- 

Lupa: *dangerously*  What kinds of *things*?  

Celia: *smiles winningly at the wolf-girl* Oh, I'm sure when I remember them, they'll ALL be good.

Lupa does not look impressed. She sniffs, suspiciously, and her yellow eyes narrow.

Vladimir: *sensing conflict, steers Celia away* But the boys. You should meet the boys. My manners. Honestly. Forget my own tail if it wasn't glued on. 

Catching a vibe from the mage, he (perhaps unwisely) turns to him first. Krobelus glares at Celia with his dark purple eyes and does not hold out his hand.

Vladimir: *realising a possible mistake too late* This…ah…is Krobelus, you'll like him, he does magic too. 

Celia: *to Krobelus, trying not to grimace at the feel of his aura*  Charmed. He wants to shake my hand just about as much as I want to shake his, moving along.

Kurt: *bounds in effusively and scoops up Celia's hand* Very glad to meet you, _schöene__ Fraulein. I am Kurt Wagner, and yes, I'm a natural blue. _

Celia: *delighted laugh* Likewise. *smiles* And I'd hate to think of what you'd pay in hair-dye if you weren't.

Vladimir: Don't mind him, he's caught chivalry from somewhere and we can't find a cure. This is Raziel.

Raziel sweeps an ironic bow, somewhat ashamed, as always, of his dilapidated appearance, then holds out his claws for her to shake.

Celia: *wide eyes*  Oh, look at you!

Old Kain: *sarcastically* There's yet another girl fallen for your new and improved charms.

Raziel: *hand still in the middle of shaking Celia's, growls at Old Kain*

Celia: *studying his forearm, entranced*  Your muscle tone... if only I could bottle that color, I'd monopolize the paint industry.

Kurt: *laughing*  She only loves you for your body, Raz.

Old Kain: She'd be the first in centuries.

Vladimir: * wisely steers Celia away from Raziel and out of the direct line between Old Kain and Raziel*  

Young Kain : *stepping up on his own, comes nose to nose with Celia, who is backed into Vladimir*  *in a deep, growly voice*  I am Kain, milady.

Celia:*raises an eyebrow*  I am unavailable.  

Old Kain reaches out an arm and casually pulls his younger self back by the hair. Young Kain hisses defiantly and struggles.

Celia: *raising the other eyebrow*  Now THIS is something I've never seen before.  *to Vladimir*  So... if you take that one *pointing at young Kain*, twist and stretch, *shifting her finger to old Kain*  you get THAT one?

Raziel: *snickers - this is without doubt one of the funniest things he's heard in weeks*

Vladimir: Essentially.  Somehow they've messed up my gates.

Krobelus: *still glaring and on his guard - to Celia* and just who might YOU be?

Vladimir: *speaking before Celia can* Allow me to introduce Celia Cameron of *smirks at Celia's groan* the Golden Gate Camerons, painter, sculpter and Watermaster of San Francisco. 

Krobelus: San Francisco?

Kurt: Earth.

Krobelus: *has no idea what Kurt is talking about*  Ah.

Young Kain: *suspiciously*  Watermaster?

Raziel: *smirking*  I like her already.

Celia: *also smirking, fingering the edge of Faustus' jacket*  The title is exactly what it sounds like, as another vampire found out earlier today.

Young Kain: *thoughtfully*  Come to think of it... that coat looks awfully familiar...

Celia: *innocently*  Well, after my undine had gotten it wet, he didn't seem to want it anymore.

Lupa: *suddenly perking up* You mean there's a vampire running around my Nexus without a shirt on? Bonus.

Old Kain: What did this vampire look like?  *holds up his hand* About so high, gold greaves, took too much time with his hair?

Celia: *raises an eyebrow*  That's him exactly.

Young Kain: Faustus!

Old Kain: *groans*

Vladimir: *hysterically*  You mean there's more of him?!  *pointing at young Kain* 

Lupa: *gleefully* This just gets better and better…

_VladimirsAngel__: *shakes head* Oh, no it doesn't, Lupa…something I'm sure you'll find out very soon…*looks out at the reader* Please review! Or the Soul Reaver gets it! *holds a banana to Raziel's temple*_

_Raziel__: *staring at her* Isn't it time for your medication, Angel dear?_


	5. Happy Medium

**RAISING ****MERIDIAN******

**Happy Medium**

_VladimirsAngel__: *munches happily on her pills…Raziel peels the banana thoughtfully* Yes, we did another chapter. _

_Syvia__: *clears throat* We would like at this point to reiterate our disclaimer: We do not own anything LoK related - that would be Eidos. Kurt and Krobelus belong respectively to Marvel and Volition. Also, we do not own the VW Microbus. However, Celia, Vladimir, Lupa and other denizens of the Nexus came from my own and the Angel's twisted little minds._

_VladimirsAngel__: We'd also like to extend a few words to you, the reviewers, without whom Raziel would by now be lying loveless in a ditch somewhere with cruel banana-related injuries. _

_Raziel__: *breaks banana in two* Hear hear._

**_Nocturnally_Damned_****_:__ *both grin and wave* We KNOW it's you, Deedee…So here, look, we wrote more…and without benefit of Uberseer whip, too. But VA did have to have her pills. *VA towels her hair and looks cross*_**

**_Natasha Compagnon:_**_ Glad you liked it! I hope it's still going strong as far as you're concerned._

**_Kaya_****_ de Crystalline:__ ohhh yes. Definitely more vampires. Check out this chapter for evidence of this *winks*_**

**_Shiwolf_****_:__ Hi! And yes. It has to be admitted. Young Kain is the official eye candy for this story._**

**_The Deville's Dog:_**_ *VA rushes and glomps and Syvia gives an extra big hug* thankyou so much for the review. And that woodshed is currently playing host to a pirate, as well you know._

**_Anima Flamma_**_: *__Vladimir__ takes the lollipop and grins in thanks* Lots of people seem to feel sorry for him. No idea why._

**_Sylvanon_****_ the wolf gurl:__ Now now…don't break Zephon. There's only the one of him. *Raziel can be heard saying "Thank heavens for small mercies!" in the background*_**

**_Guardian of Tears:_**_ *grins* I KNEW the topless vamp card was a winner. And no, no plans for Jack…he's happily drunk in __Vladimir__'s woodshed._

**_Dark-Sephiroth:_**_ *VA waves* Hello again! Yes, tis I, VA, the one who wrote Urban Nosgothic – I hope you're going to enjoy this one too. And thanks for the recommendation! *hands out candy*_

**_Vander Zan: _**_ Syvia: *blinding white smile*  Oh thank you for the scintillating message.  It was so well thought out and so very helpful!  Everyone now knows how they shouldn't review fiction!  Your typo was so funny by comparison- especially since it was directly after your comment about our typo!  Take care now! Goodbye!  *waves*_

_Ok. Enough of that! On with the story!_

Back in Meridian itself, another argument is going on. In a corner of a small alley, two figures stand in front of what is obviously one of Vladimir's world-gates. The gate is glowing an ugly purple colour, as purple as a bruise. It does not look healthy.   
  


Sebastian:*obviously furious*…vanished off the face of Nosgoth without so much as "goodbye"!! and with Kain back in the picture, too! Wretched primping fool!   
  


Marcus: *twiddling with a dagger and looking bored* Maybe we should wait for the postcard before we overreact, Sebby…   
  


Sebastian rounds on him, extremely fast.   
  


Sebastian: *silkily* Two things. Firstly, it is not "Sebby." It has never been "Sebby", it never will be "Sebby". And secondly -   
  


Marcus: *sneering* …how about Seb?   
  


Sebastian: *grabs him by the throat and hisses into his face* Secondly, YOU are going after him.   
  


Marcus: *wide eyes* Me?!   
  


Sebastian: And you're going now.   
  


Marcus: But I don't have time to requisition more than six bodyguards…   
  


Sebastian: Are you a vampire or a five-year-old girl? Besides *he puts a companionable arm around Marcus' shoulders and is pushed off just as quickly*…would you rather _I went? Left you in your little territory, all alone…with Kain coming to tea?   
  
_

Marcus blinks and assumes a haughty expression.   
  


Marcus: *arrogantly* You want me to go alone, then?   
  


Sebastian: It'll attract less attention. We have no idea what we're dealing with here and I'd rather keep it low-profile in case he-who-must-be-obeyed *he gestures out into the street, where a couple of Sarafan knights are moodily repairing a glyph circuit* gets wind of it.   
  


Marcus: *eyes the gate nervously* What exactly IS that thing?   
  


Sebastian circles the gate carefully, looking upon it with ill-concealed greed. 

Sebastian: It is…an opportunity, Marcus. Now hurry up and do whatever it is you need to do, wax your head, feed your minions, cancel the milk - we have to get Faustus back here before either Kain or Lord Muck realises he's gone. Oh, and Marcus?   
  


Marcus, who is turning away in hopes of escape, freezes.   
  


Sebastian: Do try and find some less attention-seeking clothing, won't you? *Marcus grinds his teeth silently and walks off to do so. Sebastian smirks contentedly.* There's a good fellow…  
  
  


Away in the Nexus, the Kains are arguing. Vladimir is arguing too, although he is finding it hard to get a word in edgeways. Krobelus and Kurt, bored, are sitting in the kitchen to resume the abandoned card game - Celia is standing, arms folded and a vaguely amused grin on her face, against the banister.

Now that she is dressed in more comfortable clothing- an emerald-green top that matches her tennis shoes, blue jeans and a more modern form of underwear- she looks perfectly comfortable. More comfortable than many people would have been, standing next to a tall, blue, and emaciated vampire wraith.

Had Raziel's expression been visible, he would have been grinning widely. Seeing Kain battle with himself is the most wonderful thing that has happened to Raziel, lately. Lupa is looking between Celia and Raziel, and she does not look pleased.   
  


Young Kain: I have to go back!   
  


Vladimir: No-one is going anywhere offworld until I find out what's wrong with the gates!   
  


Old Kain: Quite right. You're not going anywhere until I have words with you, my lad.   
  


Young Kain paces like a trapped animal.   
  


Young Kain: None of you ignorant people understand my situation.   
  


Vladimir: No, _you don't understand. I cannot have rogue vampires running around the Nexus. There will be a bloodbath. *voice steadily escalating in volume* It will be messy and upsetting and will no doubt generate endless paperwork which I do NOT have time to deal with.  
  
_

Lupa: *peacefully* Calm down, Mir. Don't get your whiskers in a bind. Kain - no, _you, honey - I think it really might be best if you rounded up your topless buddy before you go. Sad though I would be to lose the both of you.   
  
_

Celia: *looks at Lupa incredulously* You haven't even SEEN the other one…or do you have a thing for every male without a pulse?   
  


Lupa: Not at all. I'm not lusting after you, am I, Razi?   
  


Raziel: *deadpan* Sadly, not that I've noticed.   
  


Young Kain throws himself down on the couch with a snarl of frustration.   
  


Vladimir: Look, I really think -   
  


Old Kain: *interrupting* What we need to do is split up. Two groups. Vladimir, you and whoever you think best can go and look at the gate my irritating young counterpart came through. I will take him *he points at Young Kain, who makes a rude gesture with one hand* and maybe - *He glances about the room, puts one hand over his eyes* I can't believe I'm saying this - Raziel, I want you to come with me.   
  


Raziel: *sarcastically* Gosh, Daddy, really? We're not going bowling again are we?   
  


Celia laughs.   
  


Old Kain: I told you never to mention the bowling! And you two- *he points to Young Kain and the mage* you can come too to make sure I don't kill Raziel by accident.   
  


Krobelus: Are _we_ allowed to kill Raziel by accident?   
  


Raziel swipes at him.   
  


Old Kain: *sternly* If I have to behave, so does everyone else. Especially you, whelp.   
  


Young Kain demonstrates his maturity by sticking out his tongue. Lupa goggles at him.   
  


Lupa: *dreamily* Are there any more at home like you?   
  


Vladimir: *clouting her* Shush. Dreadful. All this chaos and YOU have to be thinking with your hormones again…you're coming with me to the gate.   
  


Lupa: Awww….   
  


Vladimir: Don't argue. You can go looking for vampires later. Kurt - are you okay staying here for now? Just in case anything happens.   
  


Kurt: Don't worry about me. You have cable. I'll be fine.   
  


Vladimir: Celia? *she looks over at him, but Kain speaks before her*   
  


Kain: Actually... the Watermage should go with you to be certain that someone in your group will recognize Faustus, should you see him.   
  


Lupa: *a bit sullenly* He's a vampire with long hair and no shirt. *waves a hand towards Faustus' jacket, which is currently tied around Celia' s waist* What, exactly, will be so hard to spot?   
  


Young Kain: *arms folded over his chest* He eats at least five people a day-   
  


Raziel: *politely, batting his eyes* As opposed to your twelve?   
  


Young Kain: *another rude gesture* -and kills countless more. Are these the actions of a man who would hesitate to steal a shirt?   
  


Kurt: Not to mention all the Nexus patrons who go topless anyway.   
  


Lupa opens her mouth to protest, when Krobelus beats her to it.   
  


Krobelus: *indicating Celia with a cock of his head* Use _her as bait.   
  
_

Celia turns a dangerously unfriendly look on him and the two mages stare at each other for a few moments as the rest of the room processes that idea. Krobelus gives the Watermaster a tiny, malicious grin, which she slowly returns.   
  


Celia: *almost growling* You and I are most definitely going to dance later.   
  


Krobelus: *calmly but meaningfully* I only know the Charleston.

Celia: Fine by me. I always fancied myself as a twenties flapper girl. 

They continue to glare at each other for a long moment.  
  


Lupa: *cheerfully getting back to business* Actually, I like that idea.   
  


Celia: *who is getting thoroughly fed up* Well, of course you would.   
  


Lupa's grin turns into an honest smile as Vladimir gives her a dubious look.   
  


Lupa: No, it really is a good idea. Celia could walk by the gate as if she were doing simply that- walking along. You and I could stay in the area and see if Faustus comes to reclaim his shirt. If he does, Celia will allow him to attack her, then he'll have broken the Mandate and we'll have him right where we want him!   
  


Vladimir: *thoughtfully* Well...   
  


Celia: *outraged, to Lupa* You just want to make it more likely that you'll get to see him! *to Vladimir* Besides, he already tried to attack me!   
  


Vladimir: *tentatively* yes, yes…um…but it does sound like a good idea. *Celia glares at him and he flinches* Lupa and I will be right near you!   
  


Celia: That isn't the point-   
  


Old Kain: *getting impatient* It's settled then. Let us go.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


As Vladimir and Old Kain lead the two search parties out into the streets of the Nexus, a vampire who is decidedly over-dressed (by Lupa's standards at least) is stepping cautiously out into the pick-up area of the Nexus Mall and Cinema Complex Park and Ride, via the Neon Gate.   
  


Marcus: *staring about* Ugh. This place is…I have no words to describe it…no decent architecture, no sense of style…   
  


He is forced to briefly consider the sagging blue and white outfit that is draped over his thin, powerful frame. Faustus, had he been present, would have recognized it as the robes of one of Meridian's foremost holy orders.   
  


Marcus: I hate you, Sebastian, I really do.   
  


He glares up and down the street, and spares a brief flare of power trying to locate any other vampires in the vicinity. There seem to be over twenty, which throws him into brief confusion.   
  


Marcus: *muttering* Someone is going to suffer when I get home.   
  


A girl, cloaked and grinning brightly, dashes across the deserted car park and practically throws herself at him in delight. She is petite and pert - her ears are pointed in her bright, sparkling fuzz of pink hair - and she seems totally overwhelmed by Marcus' appearance.   
  


Girl: Thank the Goddess you've arrived! *loops her arm around his* I thought you'd be here twenty minutes ago. *half-drags him towards a car*   
  


Marcus: Huh?   
  


Girl: *grins at his confused expression* I'm Sister Mattie from the Order, fellow volunteer worker and here to make sure you get that cute little hiney over to our booth.   
  


Remembering he is supposed to be keeping a low profile and repressing the urge to rip the girl's throat out and drain her blood (after plumbing her mind for information of course) he allows himself to be led to a rusty old white VWB Microbus. Whatever volunteer working was, it did not sound like anything he wished to be doing.   
  


Marcus: *playing along* The time differential confused us... back home. You have my apologies.   
  


Mattie: *pouts, then smiles* At least you're here now!   
  


She gets in the car, waits for him, but he doesn't want to get in.   
  


Marcus: What is this contraption?   
  


Mattie: A car. Wow, Agoran _is_ one of the backwater dimensions, isn't it? C'mon, don't be scared, cars are perfectly safe. *wicked grin* It's the people driving them that are dangerous. *shrill, repetitive giggle*   
  


Marcus: *bares his teeth a little* What dimension is this? *he finally gets in the car*   
  


Mattie: Ooh, you're a vampire. *is oblivious to both the fact that Marcus is glaring fiercely at her and that he's shut his robes in the door*   
  


Marcus: *icily* Is that a problem?   
  


Mattie: I'll just drop you off at the mall and run to the store for some blood. I doubt you'd want lemonade or tea like the other volunteers.   
  


Marcus: *leering at her* I prefer my food fresh, actually.   
  


Mattie: *her signature giggle* Silly boy, didn't your superiors tell you? All are welcome in the Nexus as long as they harm none. Breaking the Mandate can get you the Ritual Personal Humiliation and a swift one-way ticket home, buster. *she pats Marcus on the head cheerfully*   
  


Marcus: *glowering at the thought of the Mandate* Please don't touch me.   
  


Mattie: But I have to, remember? It's part of our sacred vow. *pinches him on the arm and giggles again* Boy, your superiors really didn't give you ANY help at all, did they?   
  


Marcus: *thinking of Sebastian* No. They were singularly unhelpful.   
  


Mattie: *big smile* I'm Sister Mattaeanaia Glompnkiss from the Nexus Chapter of the Order of Happy Contact. *Marcus blinks* But you can call me Mattie!   
  


Marcus:  _Mattie_…?   
  


Mattie: *spontaneously hugs him* And you are the dear, dear little acolyte that they sent from our Chapter in the Agoran Dimension; Brother Flutey!   
  


Marcus: *in too much shock about the name to complain about the hug* Brother _Flutey!?   
  
_

Mattie smiles at him and starts up the bus. She pulls out of her parking spot without looking behind her and almost slams into two pedestrians, one of whom vaults up onto a lamppost to keep from being run over. They shout at her as she drives away at sixty mph with Marcus bracing himself with an arm on the door and the other making an imprint of his hand on the dashboard.   
  


Marcus: *sudden remembrance* Happy...contact?   
  


Mattie: *piously* The Goddess says that many of the multiverse's problems stem from people not being willing to hug each other enough. *titters* But then you already know that. And your form did say you were a great believer in the power of air kisses. You were highly recommended.   
  


Marcus: *shoulders slump* Of course.   
  


Mattie: *smiles maternally at him* Oh, Brother Flutey, you're going to fit in perfectly, I can just tell. 


	6. Most Wanted

RAISING MERIDIAN 

**Most Wanted**

Yes, we updated at last! *Syvia and VA look pleased with themselves* We'd like to point out that we don't own any of the Legacy of Kain boys. They belong to Eidos. Krobelus is an invention of Volition Games: Kurt Wagner of Marvel Comics. The Nexus and its inhabitants are one of the Angel's own little fancies. Oh, and we still do not own the VW Microbus. 

Meanwhile, Faustus, unaware that he is rapidly becoming the Nexus Most Wanted, is currently in a clothing store, standing in the casual section of the men's wear department.   
  


Faustus: *standing in front of a mirror, examining his chest, smiles* The burns are nearly healed. *studies his flawless profile* I guess it's not surprising that I fell into such a lovely dimension by following Kain. Bastard seems to have all the luck. He's cut across the middle with a Glyph Blade and tossed off a cliff- yet he survives. He runs into a warp gate to who-knows-where, and ends up here. *sighs* I _really _hate that vampire.   
  


Faustus turns to the clothing racks and starts moving about, considering color and material as he browses. He finally decides on a shirt, but there is only one, size small. He sighs, takes it and walks towards a saleswoman.   
  


Faustus: Madam, are the shirts out here all you have?   
  


Assistant: *with her back to him* We have other sizes in the back, if you'd- *turns around, sees him, gasps and faints*   
  


Faustus: *tisks, walks over to another saleswoman* Madam? *holds up a blood-coloured dress-shirt* Do you happen to have this in a larger size?   
  


Assistant: *gaping, looks him up and down and keels over in a dead faint*   
  


Faustus: Damnit... *loudly* can anyone assist me without this ridiculous behaviour?   
  


At his shout, three other women look over, gasp in appreciation and slide gracefully to the floor.   
  


Faustus: *slaps a hand over his eyes* Oh Dark Gods....   
  


Male Assistant: *steps over the nearest female assistant* Yes, sir, can I help you?   
  


Faustus: Yes, finally! Do you have this in a large?   
  


Male Assistant: Allow me to check in the back, sir. *takes the shirt and goes in the back room*   
  


Faustus stands and waits, examining his claws. Two isles away, a customer and another assistant catch sight of him. Both heave dreamy sighs before dropping to the floor.   
  


Faustus: Must be some sort of virus going around…What is taking so long?   
  


He stalks off into the back room. There are some ugly noises, and then Faustus re-appears, looking more cheerful and smoothing his hair.   
  


Faustus: That's more like it.   
  


He runs the fabric of his new shirt through his fingers. It is damp.   
  


Faustus: ...a genuine blood red…now…*he lifts his head and sniffs suspiciously* ...Kain...   
  


As he leaves the store, he fails to notice the necromancer standing at ease against a pillar. A small badge on the man's black jacket reads "Nexus Security". The mage speaks briefly into a mobile.   
  


Security Mage: Sir? That's an actual casualty. Orders?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Now elsewhere in the Nexus, Marcus is currently fairing badly, _very badly. Mattie's microbus screams up the driving lot, past the mall doors (which are on censors and barely slide open in time to admit the vehicle) and down the walkway through the mall. Various shoppers run from the oncoming Microbus, screaming death to the driver and dropping bags all over the place. An elf, carrying a three-tiered marzipan figurine of Aphrodite, gasps and lurches back - and only half of the figurine goes with him. _

The other half shatters in a cloud of white sugar over the Microbus' windshield.   
  


Marcus: *gaping in horror at the obscured glass*   
  


Mattie: Ooops. Well, I'm sure that was an accident. *pokes her head out of the window and looks back at the elf* I FORGIVE YOU! *blows a kiss*   
  


Marcus: Watch where you're driving!   
  


Mattie: *back in the car* Why? I can't see out the front anyway! *teeth-grinding giggle*   
  


Marcus: *begins to pray* Oh, Dark Gods- watch over this undead body...   
  


Mattie: *singing* "Everybody needs a hug, little-tiny-children and big-tall-scary lugs, 

everybody, everybody, everybodyneedsahug." *she pokes Marcus in the elbow, taking both hands off the wheel* Come on! We all know the words! "Hug, hug, everybody needs them, cuddles, kisses, call 'em as you see 'em…"   
  


Marcus has gotten out of the traditional prayers and begun to invent new ones when they finally arrive at the convention sector of the Mall. Mattie hits the brakes without warning, and with the squeal of tires on tile they slide to a stop... in the perfect centre of a parallel parking spot.   
  


Mattie unlocks her seatbelt and hugs Marcus, who is still frozen in his seat. He makes an incoherent sound of terror.   
  


Marcus: Gaaahhh...   
  


Mattie: Come along, Brother Flutey, and meet the other volunteers!   
  


Marcus: *miserably* gaaaaahhh...   
  


She opens her door and bounds out of the bus. She is halfway to the booth before she realises Marcus is still sitting where she has left him, paralysed by shock. Mattie sighs indulgently and walks over to his side of the vehicle. With a great deal more strength that she looks as if she should possess, Mattie takes hold of the door and wrenches it open. She looks at it, and pouts prettily.   
  


Mattie: Brother Flutey, you broke the handle off! *tisks* Naughty, naughty Brother Flutey! *shaking a finger at him*   
  


Marcus: *slowly turns to face her* That was... that... that...   
  


Mattie: *sighs* I suppose you can't manage the seatbelt- they are rather tricky. *leans in to release him from the seat*   
  


Marcus: *expression turning murderous, softly* You... you little -    
  


Young Man: Sister Mattie!   
  


Mattie straightens up quickly, knocking the top of her head into Marcus' chin. The young vampire stifles a groan of pain - having bitten both his tongue and lower lip.   
  


Mattie: Acolyte Chirpton! *they share a big hug* I'm back, but I must run to the store! Do introduce Brother Flutey to the others, will you?   
  


Acolyte Chirpton: *big smile* Ah, the fellow true believer from Agoran. *gives Marcus a big hug and wrenches him out of the bus* Welcome to the Nexus!   
  


Caught in the enormous Acolyte Chirpton's arms, Marcus pours his rage into his gift - he can't focus as well without his hands positioned near his head, but it doesn't make much of a difference. Marcus reaches out with his mind for the massive Acolyte's thoughts -   
  


Mattie: Oh! I almost forgot! *clamps her hands down on Marcus' temples*   
  


The vampire's eyes focus again and widen in horror as a wave of power flows into his head, feeling as if it were stuffing around his brain like cotton and effectively shutting him in his own mind. His face stills dangerously and he looks murderously at the tiny sister.   
  


Marcus: What…did…you…DO?   
  


Mattie: I put a shield over your mind, Brother Flutey! *wide smile* Now none of those nasty mind mages can get in and make you give up the donations everyone is making to the poor un-hugged people of the Nexus! *she hugs him and Acolyte Chirpton*   
  


Marcus lunges at her as she walks away, intent on tearing the fairy limb from limb, Mandate be damned.   
  


Acolyte Chirpton: *still more or less hugging Marcus* Brother Flutey, you're such a good example of the Order! You can hug Sister Mattie when she gets back from the store. Come and meet the other volunteers now.   
  


Marcus strains to reach Mattie as Acolyte Chirpton carts him off in the other direction.   
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
At the Fountain Gate Plaza where Faustus arrived almost an hour earlier, Vladimir is on his knees on the grass, digging about in the Gate's frame: Celia is peering over his shoulder, intrigued. The Gate is in "administration" mode, and at partial activation glows gently blue in the evening dark. Lupa is kicking at the ground, already bored.   
  


Vladimir: *sits back in irritation* Celia - go sit over there.   
  


Celia: Where?   
  


Vladimir: _Away from the gate! Elementals keep swimming near for a peek at you - they are disturbing the gate flow...   
  
_

The elementals in question pout prettily up at Vladimir as Celia moves away, and flow languidly to the sides as he swipes a paw at them. The mini undines move away from Vladimir's work-space and watch with interest from the corners of the Gate base.   
  


Celia: *walking, smirks* I told you this was a faulty idea- but _no.   
  
_

Her pet undine and a tiny naiad pop up out of the water as she sits down beside a long, upwards-flowing water fountain. They begin to play tag in the smoothly flowing water.   
  


Lupa: *sweetly, smile full of teeth* You _could _simply go home.   
  


Vladimir: No she couldn't! Bad enough that those things from Nosgoth are running around my Nexus - we don't need one to follow Celia back to Earth! It would cross the dimensional boundaries even worse.   
  


Celia: *taking out her sketchpad* Not to mention the tongue-lashing he would receive from our Gatekeeper…   
  


Vladimir shudders.   
  


Lupa: Oh? Who is it?   
  


Celia: My grandfather, Sebastian J. Cameron.   
  


She scribbles industriously in her sketchpad. The little water elementals stop their game to watch.   
  


Vladimir: *up to his elbows in Gate parts* His sense of humour has all but disappeared in his old age.   
  


Celia: *grinning down at her pad* No, no- it's gotten much, _much more sadistic. Besides, Vladimir- he adores __you. It's your brother that he feels an unending desire to burn to a crisp.   
  
_

Vladimir: *sighs* Those idiotic pranks with the water-bucket. Vervain had it coming.   
  


Celia: As he so often does. *snickers*   
  


Lupa doesn't even attempt to hide the mirthful expression that blossoms on her face at the thought of someone getting one up on Vladimir's despised elder brother.   
  


Lupa: What happened?   
  


Celia: *grinning* Grandfather finally got tired of Vervain's little 'jokes' and set fire to his tail... *evil smile* and his mane.   
  


Vladimir: *smiling happily* Ah, memories.   
  


Lupa: *laughing* How much was burnt?   
  


Vladimir: *blissful sigh* All of it.   
  


Celia: *contented smile* The revenge of a Firemaster is enough to warm any victim's heart.   
  


She turns a page of her pad and then holds it up for them to see.   
  


Celia: *indicating her sketch* This is Faustus. *her undine smiles and nods, agreeing*   
  


Lupa: *visibly drooling* Ooooh... I like him already.   
  


Vladimir: *with a screwdriver in his mouth* If you bring any more vampires into my house I shall have to put flypaper down.   
  


Celia: *smirks* We could have just put up signs saying 'Have you seen this vampire?', but that would give away the fact that we're looking for him.   
  


Lupa: Hell, we could just put up lots of pictures…*takes the picture of Faustus and folds it up to put in her pocket*   
  


Celia glowers and considers the remaining pages in her pad.   
  


Celia: I did some sketches of Kain - you know, the demonish-looking one…and Raziel, but they're not that good really…  
  


She glances up as the undines beneath the surface of the Gate abruptly flee, startled. Vladimir frowns.   
  


Vladimir: It doesn't LOOK damaged…  
  


Celia: *eyeing the pieces of wet neon tubing he has spilled out over his knees* How can you tell?   
  


Vladimir: …because it hasn't exploded in my hands yet?   
  


Celia: *somewhat on edge* So what do we do if it explodes?   
  


Vladimir: *wearily* Catch as many big pieces of me as you can and bury me on the merry olde hillside, hey-fol-a-dillo…   
  


Celia: *to Lupa* is he being sarcastic?   
  


Lupa: I hope so. If he's not then he needs stronger medication.   
  


The Fountain Gate flares into full activation, suddenly. Vladimir yelps and sucks his paws as they singe with the backlash of power. The two water elementals behind Celia show wide eyes before disappearing without a ripple.   
  


Celia: Please tell me you did that.   
  


Vladimir: *calmingly* I did that.   
  


The Gate spasms: a massive, misshapen form bursts out, rolling and bellowing on the ground.   
  


Vladimir: *small voice* I was lying.   
  


A hideously scarred vampire sits bolt upright and boggles insanely into Vladimir's face. Vladimir gulps.   
  


Magnus: MEAT!!!   
  


Vladimir: *panicking* Kumquats!!   
  


He scrambles to his feet and grabs both girls by the hands.   
  


Vladimir: *with that manic cheerfulness common to the neurotic in a crisis* Let's go, come on, gate's fine…  
  


They run as quickly as they can, not daring to look back.   
  


Lupa: Now that's one vamp I'm willing to release from my "no shirts" law…   
  


Celia: *slightly concerned* Shouldn't we try and capture him? Or kill him?   
  


Vladimir: I think I'd rather take my chances with the _sane_ evil vampire, if it's all the same to you.   
  


Celia: *realising, gives a wail of dismay* My sketchbook!   
  


Vladimir: *firmly* Absolutely not.   
  


He opens the nearest Gate, and practically drags them all through it. Celia's abandoned sketchbook goes unnoticed by Magnus as he raves off in the direction of the nearest light. Fortunately for the Nexus, the nearest light turns out to be an oncoming train.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Young Kain pads about around the alleyway where Faustus fell foul of Celia and her undine, completely focused, single minded. Raziel, Old Kain and Krobelus stand a little way off, watching.   
  


Young Kain: I can SMELL him...   
  


He growls, and is about to take off at a sprint, when Raziel grabs him by the collar. Young Kain makes a noise suspiciously like "Yipe!" and growls more.   
  


Raziel: *holding the scratching, struggling vampire at arm's length* Can we get a leash for him, do you think?   
  


Old Kain: *sarcastically* Your deviant sexual perversions are nothing to do with me, Raziel.   
  


Raziel: *countering* They would be if I was being deviant with him…I mean YOU…I mean him…oh, Gods, it's a vile idea anyhow…   
  


Old Kain: I just wish we had more of an idea where the wretched fledgling might be hiding. 

  
Krobelus: *picks up his mobile as it rings* Hello?   
  


Raziel: Well, if I let go of Lassie here he might go right to him…*shakes Young Kain in a less-than-gentle manner*   
  


Young Kain: Let _go of me, you blue-skinned abomination…!   
  
_

Krobelus: *giving confirmation noises to the person on the other end*   
  


Raziel: *puts his face in Kain's, dangerously* You forgot to say _please_....   
  


Old Kain: *plucking his younger self out of Raziel's grip* Let's not do Moebius a favour by killing the boy and destroying Nosgoth's timeline, Raziel. *his younger self redoubles his attempts to pull away*   
  


Old Kain kicks the feet out from under his other self and keeps the younger vampire sitting on the ground with a cloven hand on one pale shoulder. He sighs as his younger self begins hissing and attempting to get to his feet.   
  


Old Kain: *sighs* I'd forgotten just how annoying you were....   
  


Raziel: *arms folded over his chest* _I _don't think much has changed.   
  


Both Kains turn to him and growl softly.   
  


Krobelus: *into his phone* No...just keep an eye on him. I'm coming, and I'll bring back-up.   
  


He snaps the phone shut. The others look at him expectantly.   
  


Krobelus: He's at Suit Yourself, in the Mall, Third Level. He's killed someone.   
  


Old Kain: Are they sure it's Faustus?   
  


Krobelus: Well, the duty mage said that all the female store assistants seemed to have had an attack of hormones…   
  


Old Kain and Young Kain: *in unison* That's him.   
  


Raziel: *as the Reaver curls out up his arm* Then let's get him. 

_VladimirsAngel__: *considers* What can I do this time…I know…review or everyone gets a free visit from The Order of Happy Contact!_

_Syvia__: *tisking* That's cruel and heartless, even for you. _

VladimirsAngel: *chuckles evilly* I know…but it's so much FUN…

Syvia: Couldn't we just bribe them with free candy?

VladimirsAngel:…ok…and free candy. 


	7. Hugs and Puppies and Kitties

**RAISING MERIDIAN**

**HUGS AND PUPPIES (and KITTIES)**

_VladimirsAngel__ and Syvia's World-Class Disclaimer (which the Angel should really have cut&pasted somewhere) LOK belongs to Eidos, Krobelus to Volition, Kurt to Marvel Comics, Celia and her magic are derivative of Mercedes Lackey, and the rest is Syvia and VladimirsAngel's own faults. _

_The story so far: Vladimir, Celia and Lupa are on the run from Magnus and have plunged through a gate: The two Kains, Raziel and Krobelus are on their way to waylay Faustus at the mall, and Marcus is still suffering at the hands of the Order. Review Responses next chapter!_

~~~~~~~~~

Marcus puts his feet up on the table at the back of the volunteer area and sips blood which some excessively happy Acolyte has heated for him. He watches the crowds through narrowed eyelids as they trickle past, looking at shops and talking happily. 

Marcus: Damned fairy-child. Damned happy volunteer soup kitchen…How dare she block my power.... Before I leave this dimension, I swear to the Dark Gods that I am going to kill her.

He smiles darkly and continues to watch the crowd. The smile fades into astonishment, then turns evil as he spots a familiar form. The clothes are different, but he knows who it is by the hair- there is no mistaking that hair.... Marcus sets down his mug and rushes forward. The vampire in front of him begins to turn, sensing someone approach, but before he can Marcus has him in a tight hug - effectively pinning his arms.

Marcus: *falsely cheerful* Here's a Healthy Hug from the Order of Happy Contact!

Faustus tries to get a look at his fellow vampire guardian, but can't.

Faustus: *confused* Marcus?! Is that _you?_

Marcus squeezes him painfully tight for saying his name aloud. 

Marcus: I'm Brother Flutey, hugless wanderer, _I never had another name_.

Faustus: What the- are you _mad?_

Marcus: *interrupting* Will you join me for a cup of blood?

Faustus: ...if you let go of me. What the hell is going on?

Marcus sits back down at the table, motioning with visible frustration to Faustus, who is frozen in shock, his expression one of amusement at Marcus' attire.

Marcus: *cheerfully* Laugh and I will rip your ponytail off with my bare hands.

Faustus: *sitting down, ironically* I would if your 'new look' didn't inspire such terror in me. What on Nosgoth are you doing here?

Marcus: Keep your voice down. Sebastian sent me to find you, you moronic, hair-obsessed fledgling. Now that you're here, we can find the gate to Nosgoth and go back to Meridian.

Faustus: *pouting* I'm not ready to go back. *softly* This is one hell of a world, Marcus, I killed the most delightful human! Instead of running, they're actually helpful and accomodating here- they're plump, well-fed, warm-bodied-

Marcus punches Faustus in the stomach and hides it from the Acolytes by clapping his arm around the other vampire's shoulders as Faustus doubles over.

Faustus: *hissing* You bas-

Marcus interrupts him with an overly loud false laugh.

Marcus: *softly* There's a law against killing anyone in this dimension, you idiot! Did you even notice that mage by the pillar was following you?! _Don't look!_

Faustus: I don't care. Some bitch stole my shirt and I want it back. 

Marcus: One of your females got too rough for you? *smirks*

Faustus: *growls* And what of your new attire? What is that supposed to be?

Marcus: My disguise. I have infiltrated this group of... creatures in order to seem as if I belong here. *Faustus looks at him skeptically* Well it worked, didn't it?! I found you.

Faustus: But why aren't you making these humans work for you? They should be doing your bidding right now.

Marcus: *grumbles* They have shields over their minds. I don't care about your clothing, Faustus, I want to leave and you're my ticket out!

Faustus: Then why don't you just take over my mind and make me go?

Marcus: ......

Faustus: *wide eyes* You can't! They put a shield on you too! *laughing* Oh, this is priceless!

Marcus: Faustus... either you stop talking right now or-

Faustus: *slyly* Poor Marcus, whatever are you going to do since Kain is here?

Marcus: ...what?

Faustus: Kain. Couldn't you smell him?

Marcus: *growling* I can't smell a bloody thing besides their happy-happy incense!

Faustus: *pats him on the shoulder* I'm going to retrieve my shirt.

Marcus: *grabs his arms* Don't leave me here!

Faustus: Marcus - I looked right at you and I didn't realize it was you. I'll find my shirt, come back and get you, then we can go kill Kain. Or, if you happen to see Kain in the meanwhile, then you get to kill him all by yourself!

Marcus: *meaningfully* The Mandate. No more killing. Not here.

Faustus' only answer is a cocky 'bye-bye' wave and a smirk. Marcus growls low in his throat, glaring as he leaves.

Acolyte Chirpton: *clapping Marcus on the shoulder cheerily* Ah, Brother Flutey! Another satisfied convert I presume?

Marcus: *gritted teeth* Yes, he's very…self-satisfied…

Acolyte Chirpton: It's time for your shift in the soup kitchen. I'll take you in to get your Official Apron. 

Marcus: *sighs* Of _course_. There's an official apron…there WOULD be….   
  


A very large, curvacious Sister with three horns on the top of her head bundles him into a full-length blue and paisley apron with ugly anthropomorphic kittens plastered over the front. Marcus yelps in surprise when she pinches his rear end before pushing him towards the soup counter. The vampire raises an eyebrow at her, which she smiles at, revealing two gleaming rows of razor sharp teeth. Another Acolyte at the soup counter smiles at him.

Acolyte: That would be Sister Dantea from the Azghuliath dimension. Their sect of the order is a bit more... lascivious with their contact.

Marcus: *speculative look* Oh really?

Acolyte: Yes. But she agreed to be more gentle with the people here in the Nexus. We wouldn't want anyone to die of happiness! *girlish laugh*

Marcus grits his teeth again at the Acolyte's laughter, but answers calmly enough.

Marcus: No... we wouldn't want that....

A few minutes later while Marcus sourly ladles out soup and submits to giving a tall lynx-girl a hug, an unfamiliar acolyte approaches him. 

  
Unfamiliar Acolyte: Ah, Brother Flutey! I am Brother Dribbley! Sister Mattie sent me. She said you would be tired and would appreciate the touch of divinity to aid you in your good works. *holds out arms wide and makes kissy-kissy lips*  
  
Marcus: Aah! No! Thankyou!   
  
He splashes the ladle down in a hurry.   
  
Marcus: *an idea dawning* Actually though – you can help me. In my…um…personal piety on Agoran, I took it upon myself to spread the message of the order to all vampires. I would be honoured if you and your fellow…ugh….hugging folk would aid me in my mission.   
  
Brother Dribbley: *puffs out his chest piously* We shall begin immediately Brother!  
  
Marcus: *warming to his role* Ah, for us vampires are sorely abandoned in the realm of happy contact…*aside,under his breath* …shouldn't think anyone's hugged the miserable bastard in centuries…  
  
Brother Dribbley: How should we aid you?   
  
Marcus: *overacting for all he is worth* Alas, there is a particular vampire, poor soul, who has not experienced the joy of the order…find him for me, for I wish to cleanse his pain in….*steels himself*…love.   
  
Brother Dribbley: *clasping hands above his heart in delight* Love! How very dedicated of you, Brother Flutey.  
  
Marcus: *getting annoyed* Yes, yes, I'm completely single-minded about this one…his name is Kain. You can't miss him. Tall, muscular, long white hair, permanently annoyed expression….  
  
Brother Dribbley: We will find him and bring the joy of the Order into his life.  
  
He runs off and can be seen leaving with a group of other acolytes. One of them is holding a flower garland and a selection of happy-face stickers. Marcus grins nastily to himself, feeling better for the very first time since he got here.   
  
Marcus: *to himself* It may not be traditional vampire revenge, but at least I can be sure he's going to suffer…and if I'm really lucky he'll be so embarrassed he'll massacre the entire Order for me. *ladles out more soup with an almost cheerful flourish* And then I can kill him.   
  
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

At the East End of the Mall, Old Kain leads his group into the shopping precinct. Young Kain notes an appalling lack of reaction to the sight of his older self walking through the mall with a blue demon by his side, and would have been grabbing passersby and demanding they abase themselves before him had Raziel not been digging warning claws into his shoulders. In fact, the vampires and vampire wraith are getting the least attention. Far more eyes and whispers are being directed at Krobelus, who smiles a bit to himself at the attention and pushes ahead. As they walk past a cheerful little café, an employee calls out to the elder vampire politely.

Employee: Mr. Kain! How are you on this fine evening? Want your usual?

Old Kain:  *looking embarrassed* Urgent business to take care of - maybe some other time...

Young Kain: *curiously* Your usual?

Raziel: *smirking* A double hot chocolate with a shot of blood.

Young Kain: *horrified look* I grow up to be a pansy?

Raziel: *shrugs* You have a blood bath every week or so.

Young Kain: *mollified* That's fairly evil...

Older Kain: *warningly* Raziel...

Raziel: In a porcelain tub... with a rubber ducky.

Young Kain looks as if he's about to kill himself out of mortification and Old Kain looks ready to pummel Raziel, but Krobelus comes up to them with another mage.

Krobelus: He's already gone. Headed for Third Circle & District. 

Security Mage: Should I call for backup, sir?

Krobelus: *a flare of ugly purple magic curls about his fingers* No, I think I can handle one vampire…

Young Kain: *desperate not to be left out* We. We can handle him. 

Raziel: *shoving the young vampire unkindly in the back* Yes, all right, Boy Wonder…

In Circle & District, The Circle Gate glimmers abruptly like starlight, and flares: then it opens fully and Vladimir, Lupa and Celia pile out, out of breath from running.

Vladimir: *once he realises where they are* Oh, thank Goddess. _Safe. _

Celia: *sadly* I lost my sketchbook.   
  


Lupa: You've lost your marbles if you think we're going back for it. 

Celia: *exasperated* I could have taken that vampire- we were right by the fountain!

Lupa: You had the opportunity, he was right there!

Celia: *angrily* I wasn't prepared - I'm _sorry!_

Vladimir: *interrupting* We'd better go back to my house. We can regroup, try to think of a plan – 

Lupa: - hide under the bureau til it's over? 

  
Vladimir: Damn you, woman, you know me too well. 

Lupa: *sighs* Well if we're going home, we may as well make use of our location.

Celia: What? *looks up at the street sign* Oh. Wonderful. *sighs* 

Lupa: *making shooing motions* Get out there and act like bait.

An instinctive growl rumbles in the back of the Mage's throat, which is returned by a louder and more menacing growl from Lupa. Vladimir swats them both and Celia subsides, turning up the sidewalk. Shivering at the chill, she unties Faustus' jacket from her waist and pulls it on.

They set off down towards Third, walking briskly. Circle is not one of the best Nexus districts to be in at night, even without the foreknowledge of mad vampires on the loose. Celia does a slightly off-key rendition of the Andy of Mayberry theme music as she walks. 

The water master can see tiny pairs of eyes- her Undine- peering at her from every street puddle and knows that Vladimir and Lupa are walking behind her, arguing. She is still nervous. Celia grows even more anxious as she watches the puddles grow smaller as they proceed into a more well-managed part of the area. The watermage instinctively begins to draw water into a shield and breathes a bit easier with the feeling of her native element about her. 

Although she is almost expecting it, she still yelps in fear when a dark form lands gracefully on the walkway before her. The form straightens and it is, of course, Faustus, smiling pleasantly at her. Celia raises an eyebrow, smirks, and hunches deeper into his jacket.

Faustus: At last we meet again.

Celia: *laughs* What a line.

Faustus: *smirking* You surprised me with your odd little power the first time - but I'm ready for you now.

Celia: Do you always sound like a Fractured Fairytales villain? 

Faustus: ...What? *glares* You sounded just as cliche as I when we first met. *looks at her* You're not wearing a dress…

Celia: The last time we met, I had just come from a costume party. 

Celia smiles confidently at him, but her hands, hidden in the folds of the vampire's jacket, are shaking. For all her experience, the dangers of being a Water mage on earth are few, and there is no lack of metaphysical backup. She wonders angrily where Vladimir and Lupa are, and then realizes they will not interfere until Faustus actually threatens her, which means he has to get close. Slowly, Celia takes down her shield, pouring the magic into a few spells in the back of her mind, realizing that all in all it's a pitiful amount of magic.

Celia: So did you want something, *insultingly* or did you come back because you like to get burnt? 

Faustus smirks and rushes her, dodging the sphere of water she instantly casts towards him. He grabs her around the waist and rolls, dragging her to the sidewalk. Celia twists on the ground, flings a larger sphere, but Faustus leaps up, momentarily grabbing a lamppost before coming back down and grabbing for her hands. There is a lack of ready water nearby- a fact that Faustus was counting on, but before he can take advantage of Celia's handicap, he hears the sound of running paws behind him, and a silver-haired wolf bowls him over - neatly pinning him under its massive paws. Lupa (for of course it is she) nuzzles into the vampire's neck and licks his face with a long wet tongue.

Vladimir: *calling out* Lupa! I've warned you about this before! Stop flirting with him and kill him!

Faustus: *disbelief* This is her idea of flirting?!

Celia: *getting up and preparing another water-spell* Yeah, and just wait until you see mine…   
  
She hurls the sphere and it bursts all over Lupa's back. The wolf yelps, dripping, but her body has shielded Faustus from the worst of the water. Celia staggers and clutches her head, having tapped into her personal energy to make up for the lack of available water.

Faustus: *smirking at Celia as he scratches Lupa behind the ears…Lupa whines happily and her leg twitches* Nice puppy… 

While she is distracted, he pushes her off, and leaps right over Celia as she tries to summon enough water for another blast. He lands instead right beside Vladimir, who shrieks. Faustus grabs Vladimir by the throat and twists an arm up behind his back, then stands poised to bite. Lupa growls, low and warningly, and Celia glares. Vladimir stands very still, eyes huge with terror and ears laid flat to his skull. Celia begins drawing up the remnants of the spell still coating Lupa's back and attempts to boost it with the meager amount of water in the air around them. It takes her only a second to realize this won't be enough.

Celia: *under her breath* Damnit... 

Faustus: *smiling nicely* Back off, ladies…or he's lunch.

Vladimir: *desperately* You wouldn't want to eat me. I'm tasteless. Honestly. Last year I tried to go vegan for a month. It will have ruined the taste of my blood. And besides, anaemia runs in my family. 

Faustus: *exasperated* Shut up, pussy. 

Stormclouds gather in unnatural haste above their heads and Celia hurriedly pulls the building rain towards her. Lupa growls and Celia takes a step forward. Faustus tightens the hand on Vladimir's neck in response.

Faustus: *angrily* Mage…I said Back. _Off. _

Krobelus: *loudly, from the opposite end of the street* But you didn't specify which one. 

Power flares around him like rogue electricity: from the dark sky fork lightning strikes the street in six different places around Faustus, who snarls in confusion and fright. Using the opportunity, Celia casts a puddle onto the ground at Faustus' feet. Her Undine fountains out of it, catching one of Krobelus' lightning bolts, which ripples dangerously about her lithe form. The water elemental smiles and surges forward, only to stop as Faustus pulls Vladimir in front of him as a shield.

Faustus: *whispers in Vladimir's ear* You're coming with me. 

Vladimir: *miserably* Oh, you're going to regret this. I get verbal diarrhea when I'm frightened. You're going to drown in adjectives, and it will NOT be pretty…

Faustus leaps straight up the side of the nearest building and takes off across the rooves, dragging Vladimir with him. The lion-man's yells of terror can be heard long after they have disappeared from view. Raziel and the two Kains run in from around the corner.

Raziel: *staring upwards* I'll get him. 

He makes to give chase, digging his talons into the crumbling brickwork, but Celia stops him with a hand on his arm. 

Celia: No. He might hurt Vladimir. 

Lupa: *coming out of the shadows, adjusting her halter* Hurting Vladimir is not an option. 

She turns a glittering smile on Young Kain.

Lupa: *coquettishly*  …not that a little pain can't be fun sometimes, I always say…

Young Kain gives a surprised and happy smirk, taking a small but noticeable step closer to the wolf-girl, and Old Kain rolls his eyes in disgust. 

Old Kain: Excuse me for interrupting this impromptu edition of Blind Date, but I don't think we really have time…Vladimir needs our help. 

Krobelus snorts, as if to say "he always does" and Celia glares at him. 

Celia: Let's go back to the house. 

She rubs the fabric of the jacket between her fingers.

Celia: *thoughtful* At least I know I have something he wants.

Krobelus: *snippily* Well, he's not going to be drawn in by your ability to make puddles, is he?

Celia: *sarcastically, turning on him* Gee, Krobelus, six lightning bolts and not one of them hit Faustus?

Celia's Undine rolls up to Krobelus from behind as the mage opens his mouth to retort, rears up and pounces in a crashing wave. Krobelus gasps and staggers as the power of his lightning spell washes back into his body. He glowers, soaking wet and furious, and says something jaw-cracking in an Ancient dialect. The remains of the Undine freeze solid within seconds. Celia scowls.

Old Kain: *warning tone* Children…play nicely. 

Raziel pushes off Young Kain, who has scrambled up onto the wraith's back in order to escape the dissipating Undine, and shakes his head in irritation. Lupa pulls him up forcefully and Young Kain nearly falls into her, which they both seem to enjoy.

Raziel: All this for a shirt? He's a fool.

Lupa: Oh, come on, Raz. Like you never went halfway across Nosgoth because someone told you they were having a sale on leather straps and piercing equipment?

Old Kain: *clears his throat* Vladimir? In trouble? Focus, everyone. 

He stalks off down Circle, and the rest of them look at him in surprise for a moment before following him down the street.

Raziel: Concern, from you? I'm impressed. I didn't even think you liked him. 

Old Kain: Come now, Raziel, you know how difficult it is to find an apartment in this dimension. I doubt our next landlord will be anywhere near as understanding.

Lupa: Since that next landlord would be Vervain, it's a guarantee.

Far away, the Neon Gate flares into ugly activation once again…Sebastian steps calmly out of the arch with fifteen Glyph Knights the Sarafan Lord has sent to 'help' him trailing behind. He stands in the darkness, illuminated from the back by the soft glow of the gate and the softer illumination of the glyph knights in their vampire-detecting armor. He looks around, then inhales deeply through his nose.

Sebastian: *eyes closed, testing the air* Ten of you go and round up Magnus... He should be somewhere in that direction. *points* As for the rest of you... go and find Kain. 

Glyph Knight: What are you going to do?

Sebastian glowers, walks towards the fountain and stoops gracefully to pick up Celia's fallen sketchbook. The Glyph Knights shudder a bit as they watch him smell it. Sebastian flips through the pages and his eyes narrow dangerously at the sight of one sketch.

Sebastian: *breathes in the scent of the sketchbook again* I have other quarry to pursue... *walks off with the book in hand*

The Glyph Knights shrug and walk off to do what they've been told.


	8. The Wonders of Modern Technomancy

**RAISING MERIDIAN**

**_VA: *scrabbling about in her purse* …five pence…six, seven…eight…_**

****

**_Syvia: Don't mind her. It's almost time for Defiance to be released in the UK. She's just making sure she has enough money for it…this could take a while, she's not good at math…meanwhile, on with the review responses…!_**

**Blood Of Angels:** Heh, yes, Marcus is really getting in over his head. If only he knew…and Kain will find out about the Order soon enough, don't you worry *evil grin* 

**Tanaquil:** *VA pounces and hugs* Glad you're enjoying the fic so far!

**CrownOfRust**: Hi there! Yes…we love being cruel to Marcus. He just makes it so easy. Thanks for the reviews!

**AmuseMe**: *big hugs from the girls* Hey there! So glad you're enjoying it! (we're happy to be entertaining the authoress of "Vampires in My House"!) Notorious, are we? *big grins from Syvia and VA* We're aiming for infamous…and Faustus'  effect on females is written down from life by Syvia watching VA play Blood Omen 2. 

**Flame of Corruption:** *laughing* Shake your fist all you want, Marcus old boy. It won't do any good…and oh yes, POOR Kain…awww…*pets Kain's head and gets bitten* Damnit! 

**Tom T Thomson:** Glad you're enjoying the story! And look, here's more, just like you wanted. 

**Shiwolf:** *VA glomps* Hello! Yes, well, you know Lupa loves to flirt…and we can't wait for the Order to catch up with Kain either….we love him, and he IS beautiful, but damn the man, the arrogance needs dealing with…

**Lunatic Pandora1**: *sniggering* Yes…it really WAS a rubber ducky. Raz tells me only truth. More with those pesky Knights this chapter!!

**Nocturally_Damned**: *waving furiously* Hi, Deedee! 

Raziel: Knock it off, you're embarrassing yourselves…

But she's practically FAMOUS…you've seen "The Bargain"…anyhoo…glad you liked it *hands over a cloth to clean the monitor*

**Fallen Templar:** *big grin* The Order will be on their way shortly. We've told them you've been without the touch of another person for six years. Expect resistance! *salutes*

**Guardian of Tears:** *VA smiles* Hey Moj! Have more candy. If you don't, I'll eat it all…and don't molest that pirate any more than strictly necessary!

**Windrider Sylvanon:** *swipes candy away* There you go, Zeph, Pheon. She should be easier to control now. Just make sure you let her out of the straitjacket in time to review…

**Natasha Compagnon:**  We LIKE to be evil to Young Kain. It's just a ploy so that if he gets hurt in any small way we have the excuse to nurse him until he's better. *big innocent smile*

Sadly, people in the Nexus only get resurrected under very carefully proscribed circumstances, and this isn't one of them. 

**Kaya De Crystalline:** *throws more candy* Here ya go. Glad you're liking the story so far! 

Marcus is moodily tipping out soup pans into the drains at the back of the soup kitchen when someone taps him on the shoulder. 

Faustus: *hisses* Don't turn around. 

Marcus: Why, for Dark God's sake? I know it's you, Faustus, I can smell the pomade. 

Faustus: Because if you turn around there's a good chance I will kill myself laughing at your apron. Now. Listen carefully. I think we may have a small problem. 

Marcus: What's this 'we' all of a sudden? *freezes, horrified* What have you done? 

Faustus:…there's a mage after me. 

Marcus: Well, I told you that…

Faustus: No! This one's taller and much nastier. 

He pauses.

Faustus: *rapidly* …andImayhavekidnappedsomeone.

Marcus: *turns around in a fury* You _what_?! 

Vladimir: *small voice* Actually, I think it's quite a nice apron…

Marcus: *fuming* Who's THIS? 

Vladimir: *who has gone beyond terror by now* Hi. Nice to meet you. Bald is the new black, you know.

Faustus: *wearily* He was with the female who stole my shirt. And can't you smell it?

He shoves Vladimir up close into Marcus' face. 

Vladimir: *affronted* I don't smell of anything. I bathe. 

Marcus sniffs in disbelief. 

Marcus: …_Kain_?

Faustus grins nastily.

Faustus: The reek of Kain is all over him. They must be friends.

Vladimir: *weakly* Friends is a strong word…

Marcus: But you know him.

Vladimir: He lives in my house.  

Faustus: And the mage?

Vladimir: *miserably* Which one?

Faustus: Either.

Vladimir: They're both staying with me. Everyone stays with me. It's like a hostel for the Terminally Strange. 

Faustus grabs Marcus by the arm and hisses into his ear. 

Faustus: We cannot take on Kain in that house if it's full of mages and werewolves and Dark Gods know what else. Kain must come to us…alone. 

Marcus: Very well. You! 

He flicks Vladimir in the ear. 

Vladimir: Ow! 

Marcus: How may we best contact your…little associates? 

Vladimir: *weakly* If you want Lupa, I can probably find you a phone box with her number written in it… 

Marcus: *glances at Faustus* Lupa…will this "Lupa" do? 

Vladimir: *tired* There's very little she won't do, so I've heard…Ow! 

Marcus clouts him again. 

Faustus: That must be the she-wolf who attacked me…yes…she'll do very well. 

Marcus: *as he drags Vladimir off by the arm* Really, Faustus - can you go anywhere without females hurling themselves at you?

 Faustus: …nowhere I've been yet, no. 

Meanwhile, the somewhat bewildered party of Glyph Knights has located Magnus in the insane-and-dangerous lockup of the mages' headquarters after following a trail of train debris through the city. The mad vampire has been placed under several calming spells and bogged down with enough bloody hunks of meat that he is sleeping, more or less peacefully, in a cell. 

The Mage in charge of the lockup takes one look at the shuffling group of Knights and glares. 

Mage: So this being is from _your _dimension, is he?

The Glyph Knights look nervously at one another and the highest ranking clears his throat. 

Glyph Knight: Um…Yes... 

The mage stands, her robes of office swirling about her, and holds out a clipboard. 

Mage: Sign this.

Glyph Knight: ...What is it? 

The mage thrusts the clipboard into the Knight's hands and glares, saying nothing. The Knight skims the document, thankful that it's written in a language he can read, and his eyes grow wide when he realises it's a bill. 

Mage: *slowly, angrily* That creature in there damaged a tram, shattered a butcher store window, consumed most of the meats within, and when our mages found him, he was about to start work on the butcher! It took five immobility spells to subdue him, and the remainder of the meat to keep him from hurting himself once we got him in the cell! 

The Knights exchange glances uneasily and their armour clanks as they fidget.

Glyph Knight: Uh... we're sorry? 

The mage scoffs. 

Glyph Knight: Can we have him back, then? 

Mage: Pay the bill and we'll talk about releasing him into your custody. 

The Knight looks to his subordinates, who step up threateningly and raise their weapons. This, at least, is a situation they're comfortable with. The mage looks at them with a raised eyebrow. 

Mage: You _must _be joking. 

Glyph Knight: *sternly* Release him and we'll leave you unharmed. 

The mage rolls her eyes and takes back the clipboard, scribbling a few things on the bottom. The lead knight smiles to himself and looks down at the paper as she hands it back to him. The smile disappears and he reads the new total. 

Mage: *smiling helpfully* That's for the shield spell. 

Glyph Knight: What shield spell? 

One of his soldiers starts forward threateningly and slams into a wall of purple energy. 

Mage: _That _shield spell. 

The lead Knight calls off his now staggering comrade and grimaces, looking at the stern face of the mage. He looks around the room, at the backup mages who have come in the far door, and grimaces. 

Glyph Knight: I don't have the authority to sign this. 

Mage: *blandly* Then come back with someone who does. Until then, we'll keep your... creature, here. *smiles brightly at them* Thank you for using Nexus Public Security Services.

Glyph Knight: *deadpan* Fine. 

As the Glyph Knights turn and head out of the room, the Mage calls out to them. 

Mage: Be advised that every day we keep him locked up, it costs more. 

The lead knight growls angrily as he leaves.

Back at Vladimir's house, the phone rings. Kurt looks up from a box of leftover pizza and teleports over to it.

  
Kurt: _Ja_, hallo?

   
Faustus: *on the phone* ....... Is Lupa there?  
  
Kurt: _Nein_, she's out at the moment. Can I take a message?  
  
Faustus: ... No, I'll call again later. *click*  
  
Kurt shrugs and hangs up the phone.  
  


Fifteen minutes later he has eaten the leftover pizza and is drinking cola on the couch as he watches television. The phone rings again.

Kurt: *picking up* _Guten Abend_, _Herr _Bockwurst's Salad and Generous Pizza Emporium, _kann ich Ihnen helfen?_

Faustus: ….does Lupa work there?

Kurt: *vastly amused* Let me check. 

He holds the reciever away from his face and rattles off a string of angry, interrogative German, extremely loudly. 

Faustus: *grimaces and stares at the phone in disbelief*

Marcus: *impatiently* Well, what is it?

Faustus waves him into silence as Kurt comes back on the line.

Kurt: *smooth and helpfully* I'm sorry sir, she doesn't seem to be here. Would you like to make a reservation?

Faustus: What? No! Look, if she should come in -

But Kurt has hung up.

Faustus: This place is an insane asylum!

Marcus: Here. Let me try.

He grabs the phone and Vladimir directs him towards the redial button. 

Marcus: *glaring at Vladimir, who shudders* If this doesn't work soon, cat-creature, we shall just have to eat you…

Kurt: *picking up and trying not to giggle* Hello?

Marcus: Is this where Lupa lives?

Kurt: No, this is the Nexus Order of Happy Contact charity line. How would you like to make your donation?

Marcus: Aaah! 

He drops the phone as if it's red hot and Kurt, shrugging, hangs up again.

Faustus: Marcus, are you losing your nerve as well as your hair?

He snatches up the phone and stabs at the buttons. 

Faustus: *into the phone* I demand to speak to Lupa.

Kurt: *crossly* I've told you before.

Faustus: What?

Kurt: Look, pal, I don't care how many phone boxes you found this number in, this is a decent respectable house, _verstehen_?. There's no Lupa, no Good-Time Sally, no Tiffany Tickler and absolutely no…hang on a minute. 

He covers the mouthpiece because the door at Vladimir's has just opened and Lupa, Celia and the rest have returned, dejectedly. 

Kurt: …Lupa? Phone for you. 

Lupa pads across and takes the receiver. 

Lupa: Hello?  
   
Faustus: *annoyed tone* Is this Lupa?  
  
Lupa's cute-male switch turns on and her voice turns sultry.  
  


Lupa: Why yes... what can I do for you?  
  
Faustus: *purring* You can deliver Kain in exchange for your lion-man.  
  


Lupa: *shocked* _Faustus?_

All activity around the house stops. Everyone turns to look at Lupa on the phone.  Young Kain grabs the receiver from her and starts talking into the earpiece.   
  


Young Kain: You tarty little traitor - give me one reason why I shouldn't reach into this device and rip off your head!

  
Faustus: *pleasantly* Hello there, Kain!  
  
Young Kain: *furious* Don't you hello me!  
  
Old Kain, growing annoyed with how absurd his younger self looks, grabs the receiver, turns it right way up and covers the mouthpiece with his hand.   
  
Old Kain: *quietly, to Lupa* What did he say?  
  
Lupa: *gulps* He wants you for Vladimir.  
  


Kurt: Someone's taken Vladimir? _Verdamnt_…

  
Faustus: *on the phone* Kain? Kain are you still there?  
  
Old Kain: *pauses for a moment* I am. What do you want of me?

Faustus: *pompously* We have your friend, the cat-creature, Vladimir. Be assured that he will suffer greatly unless you surrender yourself to us.

Old Kain: *slowly* "We"? Who else is there with you?

Marcus: *leans in* Hello Kain. It's good to see you're up and about again…I was beginning to think I'd never get the chance to kill you. 

Old Kain: *calmly* Hello, Marcus. 

At the mere mention of the name, Young Kain promptly throws a spectacular tantrum, hissing and trying to get at the phone. Raziel and Krobelus knock him down and sit on him. 

Faustus: *smugly* You see, Kain, you really have no choice. Deliver yourself to us in one hour or we will kill Vladimir. And make sure you bring my jacket with you, too. 

Old Kain glances across at Celia and frowns slightly: Celia raises one eyebrow in a "hey -what?" manner.

Old Kain: Faustus…where _are_ you?

Marcus slaps Faustus on the arm urgently. 

Marcus: Don't tell him! 

Faustus: *covering the phone* If I don't tell him how will he know where to bring my jacket?

Marcus: Tell him to meet us at the soup kitchen edifice. 

Old Kain: *patiently* Problems, gentlemen?

Faustus: We shall be at the soup kitchen building. Meet us there in one hour. Alone. If you're late or I smell that you've brought that mage with you, I will rip this mortal's throat out, do you understand?

Old Kain: *pauses again and looks thoughtfully at Kurt* I understand. Let me speak to Vladimir.

Faustus: Why should I let you do that?

Old Kain: *cheerfully* because unless you can prove to me he's still alive I shall waste no time in hunting you both down like the sad little mosquitoes you are and using your ribs for xylophone practice. Now, do _you_ understand _me_, Faustus?

Faustus holds the phone to Vladimir's head.

Vladimir: Hello…?

Old Kain: Try not to irritate them too much. 

Vladimir: How do I do that?

Old Kain: *heavily* they are both immensely vain and stupid, and will become incensed if they feel you are in any way cleverer than they are. Basically, just try and act like a brain-damaged carrot and you'll be fine. 

He hangs up before Vladimir can reply, and ignoring all the queries from Lupa and the others he crosses to the umbrella-stand by the door and draws the twisted length of the Soul Reaver out from behind the duck umbrella. 

Old Kain: *making a practice swipe* Fools. They want me? Then they shall have me. 

Young Kain: My sword!

He makes a grab for it but retreats under the acid scowl of his older self. Raziel restrains him.

Raziel: *thoughtfully* Actually, I find anyone making claims on that sword other than me rather laughable these days…

Lupa: *to Old Kain* But they don't want _you_…they want _him_…

She points to Young Kain, who is now sulking in Raziel's grasp. 

Old Kain: *smiling grimly* Well, then they should have been more specific, shouldn't they?

He strides to the door, turning only once to nod at Kurt.

Old Kain: Mr Wagner, a word, if you please. Everyone else, stay here. 

Krobelus: It's my job to go with you. 

Old Kain: They will kill him if you do. I know them, and they may be stupid, but they are true to their word.

Young Kain: *annoyed*  Are you forgetting that Faustus was in _my _army, fighting _my _war, and he changed sides?  

Old Kain rolls his eyes and holds a hand out to Celia, motioning to the jacket.  She takes it off with a pout and a sigh and gives it to him.

Lupa: Ah, he's a turncoat then?

Kurt: *covers his ears*  _Ach_ - bad pun!

Old Kain: *ignoring them, to Krobelus*  Stay here with Lupa and Celia, protect them. 

Celia: Excuse me? _Him_, protect _me_?

Krobelus: *looking pained* Do I have to?

Old Kain stalks out of the door, and Kurt, shrugging helplessly, follows him. 

Sebastian has found his way to the house and is lurking in the shadows of an old eucalyptus tree in Vladimir's garden. He sniffs cautiously about the gate, raising an eyebrow as he realises it leads back to Nosgoth. Amongst the other scents he catches Kain's, and bares his teeth in a hiss of displeasure. 

Creeping through the foliage, he takes in a few deep breaths. There are two familiar scents, and one that seems familiar - yet somehow isn't. He stands in the shadows, confused, and waits. 

There are lights on in the windows: several people move within, and there is the sharp scent of strange magic. Sebastian moves quickly and cautiously to the front of the house, hiding as far from the door as he can while still keeping it in view. The door opens, and a white-haired figure, bearing the Soul Reaver, emerges from the building. Sebastian's eyes go wide and he looks down at the sketchpad in his hands - it is the same being. He dares not speak, for fear of the creature hearing him, but mouths a curse.  When he notices the familiar red jacket hanging from the creature's other hand, he mouths a second curse.  On the heels of the white-haired being is a smaller figure, blue-skinned with glowing yellow eyes, shrugging on a jacket. His blue devil's tail switches. A woman in dark blue trousers and a small red shirt hangs out the door. 

Lupa: *shouting*  If they harm one hair of his mane, I'll hold you responsible, Kain! 

Sebastian: *silently, to himself* Oh dark Gods... 

Older Kain: *to Kurt* Does she rhyme often?

Kurt: _Nein_, only when she's upset. 

Sebastian watches the millennia-old vampire wave a negligent hand at the woman and walk off down the street. She grimaces at the vampire's back and disappears back into the house, slamming the door in a temper.  

Sebastian: *under his breath* Oh Kain, Kain, Kain…you should be old enough to know better…

He waits until Kain and the other are well out of sight before creeping towards one of the house's open windows.

Inside, Lupa sits down heavily on the couch and sulks. Young Kain, looking equally sulky, sits down beside her. 

Lupa: *listlessly* Anyone for a game of Twister?

Young Kain: *rebelliously, glaring at Raziel* Only if _he's_ not allowed to play. 

Krobelus: *pointedly* I won't play if _she_ plays *pointing at Celia, who smiles sweetly at him and tosses a ball of water idly in one hand in an oh-my-looky-here-whatever-can-I-do-with-this sort of way* 

Celia: Honey, I wouldn't play with you if you were the last mage in the universe…

Raziel: And I'm not playing on principle. 

Celia: What principle? 

Raziel: The principle that it's childish.

Lupa: He's lying. He won't play because he loses all the time. 

Raziel: *evilly* Is that so?

He flares his ragged wings and pounces across the room, knocking the couch onto its back and tipping Young Kain and Lupa into a heap. He then proceeds to pull Lupa's hair. 

Lupa: Aaaah! Cheat! Girly-fighter! 

Raziel: *pulling* Take it back. Take it back or I pull it out by the roots. 

Lupa: You're a girly. I'm telling everyone in Nosgoth, Raziel fights like a girl. 

Young Kain: *muffled* Get OFF!! Both of you!

Celia: *looking at the struggling pile of Raziel, Lupa and Young Kain* I'm sure you're supposed to have a mat to play Twister….

Krobelus: Lupa? Right hand…vampire.

Lupa's claws dig into Young Kain's chest and he yelps. 

Krobelus chuckles nastily. 

Krobelus: Well, what do you know. Party games ARE harmless fun for all. 

Owing to the general screeching and thumping, no-one notices the fact that Sebastian has managed to lower himself in through the kitchen window until he knocks over a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Dishwater narrowly misses his legs.

Sebastian: *to himself* Damn!

Celia: *to Krobelus* What was that?

Krobelus: *kindly* Your one and only brain cell's death rattle?

Celia: *turning on him* You know, I _really_ don't know what your problem is….

More dishes slide to the floor and break, noisily. Raziel stops in mid-hair-pull, and Lupa, finding herself somehow unavoidably tangled up in Young Kain's legs, ceases struggling. Silence descends.

Celia: *quietly* ….but right now I think we have other problems.

  
  



	9. Vampire House Calls

**RAISING MERIDIAN **

**Vampire House Calls**

_VA and Syvia would like to apologise for the length of time between updates. This can mainly be blamed on caffeine, sugar, and those fun little toys you get free with cereal. _

Disclaimer: We don't own Legacy of Kain, Eidos does. 

On one of the upper floors above the soup kitchen, Faustus pushes Vladimir onto a red, heart-cloth upholstered loveseat and grins at him. Marcus can be heard outside the door, talking to someone.   
  


Marcus' voice: Now this one has been _very _unhappy. He doesn't think he deserves to be loved.   
  


Woman's voice: How terrible!   
  


When they enter the room, Vladimir gulps at the tall, demonic-looking woman in her white and blue Happy Contact uniform who stands next to Marcus looking pious and insanely happy.   
  


Marcus: Cat-creature, meet Sister Dantea. 

Vladimir: *nervously* Hello, um….madam? 

Sister Dantea squeals, claps her big hands together in girlish delight and does a little jig.   
  


The three of them then stand and leer down at Vladimir;  Marcus, because he's so very proud of his evil and dastardly plan, Dantea, because she will finally be able to minister contact in the way she's used to doing, and Faustus... because he's just very proud of his leer.   
  


Marcus: Now, don't give him the full treatment, you understand, just enough that he won't be able to walk. 

Vladimir: *huge eyes* Not able to _walk_?!  
  


Sister Dantea: *hugging Marcus while enthusiastically groping his rear* Oh thank you, Brother Flutey! You cannot know what this means to me!  
  


Faustus snickers once again at the pseudonym.

Marcus: *swatting at her encroaching hands* Oh, I think I can guess…

 Faustus looks curiously at the Sister when she eventually lets Marcus go.   
  


Faustus: Might I ask what the full treatment is?   
  


Sister Dantea smiles and crooks a clawed finger at him. Faustus leans close and the Sister whispers into his ear. Vladimir, in a frenzy of horrified curiosity, pricks up his ears.  
Faustus listens for a few informative seconds, then takes a step back and raises his eyebrows.

Faustus: Oh _really_? You don't- *his mouth drops open and he leans in again to hear more*  
  


Vladimir: *panicking* What? Don't _what_?

Marcus is smirking at Vladimir, whose left eye is starting to develop a twitch by this stage. Sister Dantea stops whispering and gives Faustus a heavy-lidded smile. Faustus turns to Marcus slowly.   
  


Faustus: Brother Flutey... why don't you *clears his throat* go down and meet Kain, and I'll help the sister with our cap-ah... convert?   
  


Marcus smirks, then realises what they'd be doing, and his expression rapidly turns indignant. He catches Faustus' unwilling arm and drags him out into the hallway. The door slams and locks behind them.

Sister Dantea turns to Vladimir and swishes over to him. Vladimir seems to be doing his best to become one with the back of the red love-seat. His claws score grooves into the wooden arms as he flattens himself into the furniture.   
  


Sister Dantea: So what' s _your _name, furry? 

Vladimir twitches.  His eyelid jitters. His lip curls up in the expression of horrified disgust common to cats everywhere -  as if he's just tasted something really nasty. 

Sister Dantea: *reaching over* Let's undo this ponytail, shall we? Make you more comfortable…then we shall see what else we can undo…

Vladimir: Gaaah! 

He skitters out of the chair and pounds on the door with both fists.  Sister Dantea glances at the hair tie and strands of black mane she has grasped in her huge fingers. 

Sister Dantea: *in a kind of wonderment* Truly you are in dire need of the attentions of a sister of the Order. 

Vladimir: No I'm not! Honestly! I'm very happy the way I am! Thank you all the same!

He scratches at the door frantically. 

Vladimir: *begging* Please let me out! I don't want to die like this! I'm still young and innocent and reasonably pretty! _Please!_

Sister Dantea: *advancing, bearing all before her and quite a lot behind* Now, come along, Mr Furry. Happy Contact will change your life.

Vladimir: It's not my life, it's my body I'm worried about! 

A few blocks away from the mall, Kain stops and mumbles a few words under his breath. Kurt's eyes itch slightly, and when he stops rubbing them, he looks at Kain in disbelief.   
  


Kurt: _Unglaublich__! _(Unbelievable!) What happened to you?   
  


Kain, now without the Soul Reaver and looking like a perfect twin of his younger self, turns to him.   
  


Old Kain: *looking pleased with himself* What, this old thing? It's just a little spell I've re-learnt from one of the mind mages here. Marcus and Faustus may be fools, but they've excellent sight, and they'll notice very quickly that although I still smell like myself, I don't _look _the same. Their reaction will be either to run or to kill Vladimir, and we don't want either one of those things to happen. 

Kurt: Indeed not…what happened to the sword?

Old (but now looking suspiciously like) Young Kain: It's here. 

He swings an empty fist and Kurt feels the sharp tip of the blade poke him in the chest, although he can see nothing. 

Kurt: Impressive. 

He bounds to keep up as Kain strides off, long white hair swinging, towards the mall. 

Meanwhile, back at Vladimir's House, Sebastian zips into the breakfast alcove of the kitchen and hides just as Raziel vaults into the room with Krobelus behind him and Celia _far_ behind Krobleus. They all stop and look around the empty kitchen. Back in the lounge, Lupa and Young Kain are still sitting behind the overturned couch. Lupa giggles girlishly and pokes Young Kain in the chest in an "oh-_you_" manner. Young Kain looks as if he is considering growling: then he changes his mind, cautiously extends a finger, and pokes her in return.   
  
Celia: *dubiously, looking around the kitchen* It _could_ have been the undines. They like to play pranks every now and again, although that's more a habit of air elementals than water.  
  
Krobleus: No... something has been here. Something not living.

Celia: *scathingly* Of course you'd know that just by looking at this empty room…

Krobelus: *heavily* I'm a necromancer. I can sense dead things at fifty metres.

  
Raziel: *peering out of the window* Every now and again we have a Dumahim drop in from my time. It only takes a little while to root them out and kill them.  
  
Krobleus: It takes longer to convince Vladimir not to shut down the Garden Gate after they've been dealt with.  
  
Celia: *grimaces* I hope he's all right.  
  
Krobleus searches the window and sink for clues. In the lounge, Young Kain and Lupa have resorted to play-fighting.   
  
Raziel: *to Celia* Vladimir. Have you known him long?  
  
Celia: *distracted* Old friend of the family. *smiles* _Very_ old. Or rather, always young.   
  
Raziel quirks an eyebrow at her.   
  
Celia: Look, you know different times drop in on the Nexus. *she points out the window in the direction of the gate* Current events are a perfect example.  
  
Raziel nods.  
  
Celia: Over seventy years ago in my dimension, my great-grandparents and their friends did a summoning for help in a certain... *she smiles* personal matter. Their answer was a gate to the Nexus. They entered, they met the Mikhails.  Afterwards our families stayed in contact.  
  
Raziel: What personal matter?  
  
Celia: The short version- my great-grandfather was a bit wolfish, and not only in personality. When great-grandmother got pregnant, they were worried about possible complications with the birth. They needed advice and Vladimir's parents helped them.

Raziel: Wolfish... as in werewolf?

Celia: More of Lupa's sort, wolf-human, but without the ability to change from one to the other.  Grandfather was stuck in the half-shape.  His children turned out fully human, but there's always been a bit of a wild side in his descendants.  
  
Krobelus has stopped looking for evidence and is now staring at Celia. She raises an eyebrow at him. 

Krobleus: Then that's why you're such a-  
  
Celia: Any further and you'll get a face full of dishwater.  
  
Krobleus: *innocently* Me? Would I do something like that? *to Raziel* In any event, we have an intruder and it's something similar to the vampire who kidnapped Vladimir.  
  
Raziel stalks out into the living room and his eyes widen when he realizes Kain and Lupa have apparently disappeared into thin air. The two mages have similar reactions. Raziel moves quickly through the room and into the hall.  
  
Raziel: *sharply* Lupa? _Lupa__?_  
  
It's only then that he notices a trail of clothing: a red halter top, some leather gauntlets among other items. It begins at the overturned couch and leads towards the hall closet. The three approach it cautiously and hear a muffled thumping from within.  
  
Krobleus: *shaking his head as realization dawns swiftly*Lupa, Lupa, _Lupa_….  
  
Celia: *smirking* Well if it was a choice between him and Faustus...jealous, are we, Krobey?  
  
Krobleus:  *glaring* I was going to say that Kain wins out simply because he was on hand.  
  
Raziel begins to laugh evilly. The two mages turn to him.  
  
Raziel: I can just picture the other Kain's face when he gets back and finds out about this.  
  
Celia turns pale while Krobleus smirks widely. Raziel turns, cheerful once more, and heads back towards the kitchen.   
  
Raziel: Well, let's go and  find that intruder. My money's on downstairs…  
  
He opens the door under the stairs that leads down to the Silent Hill Room. Celia and Krobelus follow him closely, and with their backs to the kitchen they entirely miss Sebastian creeping out of the breakfast alcove to watch them depart. The vampire smiles to himself, and brushes a few cobwebs from his shoulders. 


	10. Out of the Closet

**RAISING MERIDIAN **

**Out of the Closet**

_VA and Syvia again would like to apologise for the length of time between updates. It's just that there are so many shiny things in this world to get distracted by these days…_

_Disclaimer: We don't own Legacy of Kain, Eidos does. The Nexus and its inhabitants are the Angel's responsibility, and Celia derives from somewhere resembling Mercedes Lackey. Krobelus belongs to Volition : Kurt Wagner to Marvel Comics. _

_Review Responses next chapter. We do appreciate each and every review we get ^_^_

Raziel: *glares at the Silent Hill Room, which has been colonised by Old Kain* I never knew he had so much junk. 

Celia: *poking at a roll of fabric, which goes "clink" ominously, and leaves a reddish stain on her finger* Can we just check the room and leave?

Krobelus: *glancing at posters on the walls* I never knew he liked Sesame Street. 

Raziel: *lifts his head as if sniffing* Only vampire been down here recently is Kain. 

Krobelus: I meant to ask – how come the Abyss didn't rob you of your sense of smell?

Raziel: It did. How do you think I can stand to be near Vladimir when he's cooking? 

Krobelus: Then how…?

Raziel: You think I can smell him? I'm just going by the leftover blood bags. 

Celia: *shudders* Guys…please. 

She steps in something that goes "squish", and Krobelus suppresses a snigger.

Celia: That is IT. 

She stalks up the stairs and out into the lounge. Sebastian, caught unawares, is sorting carefully through the bookshelves, looking for useful information. 

Celia: Hah!

Sebastian: *drawing himself up to his full height and getting into his best proclaiming pose* Ahahahaha, puny mortal female, you shall tell me all I desire to know…

Celia: Lose the backchat, Sparky.

She balls up water from the stand of Vladimir's much-neglected rubber plant and hurls it at him. Sebastian realises what it is seconds before it hits – and just like that, he's off. 

Celia: *watching damp papers drift slowly to the floor in the space where Sebastian was* Huh. 

Krobelus: *coming out from the basement door* Quick, isn't he?

Raziel: *looking as cheerful as anyone with half a face can* I love little games like this.

He peers up into the stairwell. 

Raziel: Three – two – one. Coming! Ready or not!!

He bounds up the stairs two at a time, heading for the third floor and the attic.

Celia: *looking after him* Is he or is he not the world's most emaciated three-year-old?

Krobelus: What, you mean you don't want to play? 

The necromancer skips infuriatingly upstairs in the wake of Raziel and disappears in the direction of the second-floor bedrooms and the green bathroom.

Celia: *hands on hips* Why do women ever have children when there are so many men around to be immature?

Krobelus's voice: *from the second floor* Because you females are defenceless in the face of our masculine wiles, my dear.

Celia: *crossly, stamping up the stairs* You must've been behind the door when those wiles were being handed out….

Krobelus's voice: Better than having fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. 

Raziel's voice shouts down from above before Celia can retaliate.

Raziel: Come back here!

Sounds of scuffling and thumping filter down from above. Several doors open and slam shut, rapidly. 

Celia: Raziel? Do you need any help up there?

She is answered only by the entirely unnerving sound of Raziel's laughter, and the sound of the upstairs en suite shower being turned on full blast.

Sebastian: *muffled* Curses!

More thumping from above, and sounds that would be consistent with a vampire opening a cupboard only to be bombarded with mop handles, buckets, and the inevitable loose tennis balls. 

Raziel's voice: *triumphant* Game, set, and mop….

Krobelus: *looking out of the green bathroom onto the landing* Did you get him?

Celia is nearly bowled over by something blurred and moving exceptionally fast that zips by her as she is about to head up the stairs. 

Celia:…that would be a no. 

Meanwhile, over at the Nexus Mall, Faustus is picking his teeth idly with a crate splinter. Marcus leans against the crate, examining his nails. They hear someone approaching and freeze. Marcus scampers behind the crate and Faustus jumps down and stands to one side of it. Faustus strikes a dramatic pose and waits... and deflates when he sees it isn't Kain.

Random Acolyte: Oh hello! You must be Brother Flutey's friend. *hugs Faustus* 

Faustus: *rolls eyes and pats the Acolyte on the head* Yes, yes, thank you.

Acolyte: I've just come for a few more cans of soup. 

Faustus: Good for you.

Acolyte: *picks up a box* You haven't seen Brother Flutey by any chance?

Faustus: Actually he's right-

Marcus' hand darts out from the shadows and knocks Faustus over the head.

Faustus: - in the bathroom... I think. I could be wrong.

Acolyte: Ah, well, if you see him, please tell him Sister Mattie was looking for him. 

The Acolyte waddles away, smiling pleasantly. Marcus rounds the crate after he leaves, scowling.

Faustus: *deadpan* Sister Mattie was looking for you.

Marcus: *growls*

Faustus: *enjoying himself immensely* You should take your duties more seriously, Marcus, really. They need your help to hug and feed the senseless mortals wandering about this place.

Marcus gives him a death glare. His eyes go red, and he raises his claws, fully intent on knocking the other vampire into a pile of empty soup bins. Faustus only smirks, waiting. Marcus manages to compose himself, letting out a deep breath and crossing his arms tightly across his chest. Faustus returns to leaning against the crate, smirking to himself. 

Marcus grabs his hair and flings him into the pile of soup pans. 

Kain stalks through the soup kitchen storage area, listening to the sounds of a scuffle as he gets closer to the back of the room. He raises a silver eyebrow as he realizes the fighters are two vampires, and smirks when he identifies the voices.

Marcus and Faustus, still oblivious, Faustus sits down on a soup crate in the storage area behind the kitchen.  Marcus stands beside him, now divesting himself of the white and blue pants and over-robes of the order, revealing a more normal black leather bodysuit.  He grimaces at the white boots, and after a momentary decision, he pulls them off and chucks the lot behind a crate.  Faustus looks at him curiously.

Marcus: I'd rather have bare feet than face Kain wearing white shoes.  

Faustus looks amused, but says nothing- he is, after all, more obsessed with appearance than Marcus.

Marcus: Now remember, we are not going to rush Kain when we first see him, Faustus.  We will try negotiation.

Faustus: *scoffs*  Why?  Are we not planning to kill the cat creature as soon as we subdue Kain?  Or even kill Kain and then the hostage?

Marcus: *groans*  I will not underestimate Kain, as you quite obviously are doing.  

Faustus: *waves a hand, dismissively*  Dormancy weakened his powers, Marcus.  I nearly staked him and he ran to save himself.  Besides- he is one, we are two.  

Marcus: *sighing*  Do you want to fight him and possibly get your clothing dirty?

Faustus' eyebrows fly to his hair.

Faustus: Let's try negotiation first.

Marcus: Good boy.

From the shadows, Kain continues to smirk to himself. Then, choosing his moment for maximum dramatic effect, he straightens his face into a suitable angry scowl, walks to the edge of the crate stacks and waits for them to notice him. 

At Vladimir's house, from inside the darkness of the closet, the other, younger Kain abruptly begins sniffing.

Lupa: What's wrong, honey-fangs?

Young Kain: *distracted* I smell something odd...

Lupa: *glancing at her hands* It could be the chocolate body paint….

Young Kain: No no no- one of my kind.  I think there may be...

Lupa: *determined* They can't have you till I'm done! 

A listener outside the closet would have heard the sound of giggling, and limbs being flung against the walls, if there had been anyone outside to listen.

Sebastian runs down from the second floor at full pelt, trying desperately to dodge what are obviously some of Krobelus' lightning attacks – he pauses in horrible indecision in the hall. Should he run, or…?

His gaze falls upon the closet. 

Krobelus' voice: *from the landing* Raziel, he's headed for the door!

Raziel's voice *from somewhere above* : I'll get him…

Sebastian makes his decision and flings open the hall closet door.

Sebastian, Lupa and Young Kain: AAAAaaaaaaaah!

Lupa: Pervert!

Sebastian: *in shock* He's naked!

Lupa swipes him across the face with her claws while Young Kain hisses and does his best to hide under an old winter coat of Vladimir's.

Sebastian: *rubbing blood out of his eyes* Kain! What are you do-

Lupa: *furious* What do you think he was doing?!! 

She stalks out of the closet, grabs Legolas's knives from the umbrella stand, and starts taking swipes at Sebastian, who is still staring at Young Kain in disbelief. Raziel comes bounding down the stairs and comes to a dead halt at the sight before him. He puts his claws carefully over his eyes.

Raziel: *calmly, from behind his self-imposed blindfold* Lupa, my dear…please put some clothes on while you attack that vampire…

Lupa: *raging* Will it make him any more dead if I do?

Krobelus: *staring* No, but it'll make me feel a lot less uncomfortable…

Celia: *from behind Krobelus* She really has no shame at all, does she?

Krobelus: *still staring* Not a bit. 

Celia grabs the necromancer by the arm and drags him off into the kitchen as Raziel steps in to take Sebastian by the throat and Young Kain thoughtfully drops another old coat over Lupa's bristling hackles.

In the kitchen, Celia turns on Krobelus, fuming. 

Celia: Bloody men! I suppose you would have just stood there and got a really good look if I'd let you, wouldn't you?

Krobelus: *indignant* What? What did I do?

Celia: *spluttering* You – you…chauvanist!!!

Krobelus suddenly grins, leans into Celia, who scowls at him. 

Krobelus: Jealous, are we, Celia?

He swaggers back out into the lounge, obviously immensely pleased with himself. 

Celia: *to the empty kitchen* I…hate…him…


	11. Inventive Tortures

**RAISING ****MERIDIAN******

**Inventive Tortures**

_Disclaimer: Legacy of Kain created by Eidos. Krobelus created by Volition & THQ: Kurt Wagner belongs to Marvel comics. Lupa and __Vladimir__ and their Nexus belong to Angel: Celia was created by Syvia out of a background of Mercedes Lackey. Most other characters have wandered onto the set by mistake. _

Angel: (looks exceedingly apologetic) I have no excuses.

Syvia: What, not even the "my dog ate it?" one?

Angel: No, not this time. I'm just a bad, bad authoress and I deserve to be punished and get no reviews for leaving this story so long.

Syvia: (reflectively) We COULD say the plot bunnies ate it….(smiles maternally at the small paddock she has been forced to corral said bunnies in) Awww. Lookit them lolloping about. Run, little bunnies! Be free!

Angel: (gives Syv a look) Actually…my dog DID eat it…now! **Review Responses…**

**Marina****'s Myst:** (grin) Glad you're enjoying it…oh, and I hope you sort out your muse issues very soon…

**Varewolf****:** (hugs) yeah..I know…okay, he's not green, I take it back. And yes…there will be more Magnus..

**Smoke:** Hi there! Kain on Kain action huh? (grin) we're glad you like it…

**Fallen Templar:** Here is an update! At last! (and yes…the Order get EVERYWHERE…) Raz is just modest about his Twister skills…

**Lady Lu Bu:** Always happy to make people laugh!

**Flame of Corruption:** I think I e-mailed you about Krobelus…and get ready for Kain…!

**HealerAriel****:** Isn't she just such a lucky cow, you could just kick her? :P

**Tom T Thomson:** Breathe! Breathe, damnit! Stay with us!! Oh…and here's the update…

**Chalcedony Blue:** (hugs) great to see you're still here! Thanks for reading…and yes, more Sebby for ya…

**Guardian:** (Vladimir is very grateful…but read on…!) and yes…it's MY woodshed…! Behave yourself, woman!

**Nezzera****:** Hi there! Sorry it's been so long for an update…you've probably given up in disgust, haven't you?

**Spectral Sereda:** (super glomp) I'm so happy you're liking it.. (hands you your own LoK Twister set)

**Shiwolf****:** (VA hugs) Yes, Raz fights like a girl. It's official.

**Seedydeedee****:** (more glomps from us…) Is your computer all right after being sprayed with orange juice? And by the way…if that was your evil twin, I want to meet her. 

**Now! On with the story…**

Kain waits for Marcus and Faustus to notice him.  However, as this older and more skilled Kain is so very good at blending in with his surroundings (when it suits him) the younger vampires simply fail to notice that he is standing right in front of them.

Bored after a few minutes, Kain clears his throat.

The two fledglings visibly flinch.  Then Faustus smiles.  Marcus, the fact that Kain had been there watching them not going unnoticed, cannot look confident - only stern and foreboding. 

Faustus: What on Nosgoth took you so long, Kain?  We were tempted to eat your paranoid friend and be done with it.

Kain: (mildly)  Indeed?  Well now I am here.  Where is Vladimir?

Marcus:  The terms first.  You will agree to surrender to us and allow a binding to be placed upon your dark gifts, whereupon you will go back with us to Meridian and submit to the will of the Sarafan Lord.

Faustus: And give me my jacket!

Kain bares his teeth a little in disgust at the mention of the Sarafan Lord.  Otherwise, his lips are twisted slightly into an amused expression.  Marcus notices this, and can't completely hide his nerves.

Marcus: If you do not- we will kill your cat-creature.

Kain: (smirking)  Do you still fail to understand me, Marcus?  Do you think I will bargain for Vladimir any more than I did the Bishop?

Faustus: Your little friend the wolf-woman seemed quite attached to him.

Kain only gives a tight-lipped smile.

Marcus bares his teeth in a hiss.  He has not forgotten the Bishop- and only just escaped with his life after his battle with Kain in the church.  However- this time he has not quite underestimated Kain.  In a pre-planned move, Marcus launches himself towards the staircase that will take him to Vladimir's makeshift 'cell', planning to kill both Vladimir and the sister before escaping. 

Faustus jumps into the air and flings himself at Kain, a feint that will allow Marcus time, and Faustus a chance to finish what he had started with Kain earlier.

Kain merely rolls his eyes and lifts a hand, which he tightens into a fist.  Marcus is halted in his tracks, his chest surrounded by glowing green energy.  Kain tosses his hand negligently to the side and Marcus is flung across the room, where he hits the wall.

All this is done in enough time for him to unclench that hand and grab Faustus out of the air.  The fledgling goggles as Kain's disguise melts away, revealing the milliennia-old horror Kain has become.

Kain: What need have I for bargaining when I can simply take what I want?

Faustus: (stammers)  How- but-

Kain: (smiling) You always were so erudite….

Kain unsheathes the Soul Reaver- unnoticed before now, and holds the blade under Faustus' chin.  The young vampire turns, impossibly, even more pale than his usual complexion. 

Kain: Now, Faustus, where is Vladimir?

Above, on the stairs outside the makeshift cell, the other half of Kain's rescue plan has just arrived, having climbed up the vertical wall with no more difficulty than if it had been a stepladder.

Kurt Wagner, a peaceable soul by nature, is becoming quite alarmed by the sounds he can hear coming from within the locked room.

Vladimir's voice: Owww_wwww_!

A pause.

Vladimir's voice: What are you thinking? For Goddess' sake! That hurts!

Kurt: _Mein__ Gott_, they're torturing him already.  I'm too late.

He teleports in a cloud of smoke and reappears inside the room. To his amazement, Vladimir is sitting on a loveseat with Sister Dantea.  Rather, she is sitting, Vladimir is sprawled half in, half out of her lap, and she is combing knots out of his mane.

Vladimir: ...and you KNOW how hard it is to cope with split ends, especially when everyone else has such, you know, AMAZING hair...

Sister Dantea: (with her tongue stuck out in concentration)  I know. It is so hard to be a woman in today's world.

Vladimir: (handing her some curlers) So true. The world is a bitch.

Kurt: Vladimir, I've come to rescue you…although now I see you, I wonder what I'm rescuing you from, exactly…

Vladimir: (noticing him for the first time) Ooh, how kind of you.

Sister Dantea: (upset) But you cannot leave, Mr Furry. I am not finished with painting your nails.

Vladimir: (pats her hands) I'm so sorry, my dear.  Another time?

Kurt grabs him and they both vanish in a cloud of purplish smoke.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Below, in the courtyard, Marcus sits up from where Kain flung him against the wall and groans.

Marcus: (mutters) I'm sure he never used to hit THIS hard…

He looks up in time to see Faustus on his knees, with Kain standing over him. The older vampire has Faustus' ponytail in a tight grip, the Soul Reaver poised like a saw on the hair.

Old Kain: Tell me.

Faustus: (eyes watering) Mercy! Not the hair!

Old Kain: (pets Faustus's head almost paternally) Oh, Faustus, Faustus…you know me better than that.

Marcus can't watch: he flees up the stairs, unlocks the door and bursts into the room. He glances wildly about, taking in the fact that Vladimir is gone and that Sister Dantea is sniffling, teary eyed, on the loveseat.

Marcus: Dark Gods, no….

He is suddenly very aware that by this stage Kain is extremely unlikely to be forgiving, even if the cat-man makes it home alive.

Marcus: Woman! What happened? Where is the cat-creature?

Sister Dantea: (wailing) He was so nice….

Marcus goes cold.

Marcus: Did you eat him? Answer me!

Sister Dantea: He was going to give me the recipe for (sob) chocolate and apricot fondue!!!

Marcus: (becoming frantic as he hears the unmistakeable sounds of Faustus getting his head slammed repeatedly into a ten-gallon soup vat) Where IS he?

Sister Dantea: The little blue man took him away from me.

She cries even harder.

Sister Dantea: (baritone wail) I want his _babies!!!_

Marcus: (desperate) Strip!

Sister Dantea: (surprised) What? You mean you want to…

Marcus: Get 'em off! (he gestures at her voluminous Happy Contact robes)

Sister Dantea, looking only a little happier, strips off her robes.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Back at Vladimir's house, Raziel is holding Sebastian up by the scruff and regarding him: Krobelus is next to him, electricity playing idly over his hands like a cat's cradle. Celia is watching them both, still looking angry at Krobelus – Lupa and Young Kain are leaning against the wall together. Lupa giggles as he whispers something to her.

Raziel: ….I don't think so.

Krobelus: (sniffs) What? How could you not like that idea?

Raziel: It's too kind to him.

Krobelus: How much of a bastard are you?

Raziel: (smugly) Oh, you wouldn't believe.

Celia: For heaven's sake…(she pushes between them and pokes Sebastian hard in the chest) Look, you. Tell us what you're doing here or – or I WILL let Krobelus cover you in sweets and throw you in the… (she glances back at the mage for confirmation) …Nexus Playgroup for Disturbed Toddlers.

Raziel: (shakes his head) Not nearly inventively cruel enough.

Krobelus: You haven't seen the toddlers.

Sebastian: I do not fear you. Any of you. (his gaze flicks to Raziel, who glowers and beckons with the wraith-blade) …all right. Possibly I can admit to being a little scared of you. But I'm not actually "in fear", if you know what I mean….

Krobelus: You should see me before I've had a cup of coffee in the mornings. I'm quite petrifying.

Celia: (dryly) Now that I CAN believe.

Krobelus: Thank you, matchless beauty. Tell me, do you have to spend hours every day making your skin look that blotchy or is it natural?

Raziel groans.

Raziel: If you're quite finished…Lupa?

Lupa looks up from her place snuggled into Young Kain's shoulder.

Lupa: Huh?

Raziel: If you can bear to tear your attention away from your pallid boyfriend there…what should we do with this idiot?

Celia: (annoyed)  Which idiot? The one you've got in the armlock or the one who's standing next to you making smart-ass comments?

Krobelus: (scowls at her)  If you're not going to let me torture him, we should take him to the drunk tank until Kain comes back.

Celia: (sweetly) Gosh, Krobelus, hun, you actually had a sensible idea. Do you think you should lie down?

Krobelus: (grins at her) Why, is your bed free?

Celia: (furious) It most certainly is NOT!

Krobelus: (still smiling infuriatingly) No, thought not. The Nexus rugby team told me you were charging rent for it by the hour.

Lupa sensibly grabs Celia's arm as the watermaster prepares to give the mage a ringing slap around the face.

Lupa: (leans in and whispers to Celia) No! Let him…I think he fancies you! He's always far more nasty if he likes someone…

Celia: (hisses back) WHAT? Yuck!

Lupa: Trust me! (she winks)

Sebastian: (still struggling) Did you think I would have come here alone, you fools?

Raziel: (sigh) And suddenly I'm so painfully bored…. Someone give me a hand, I want to hold his head under the cold tap.

Lupa: Why would you need a hand with that?

Raziel: Have you forgotten what house you're in? There's so much crockery in the sink there just isn't room to fit a swollen arrogant vampire head in there as well.

Sebastian writhes, but Raziel has a grip like a vice.

Lupa: I think Krobey is right…we should take him to the cells. We can't keep him here. If he's telling the truth, people may come looking for him.

Krobelus: (inscensed) "Krobey?"

Celia: Oh, I like it. (she turns on him and flutters her eyelashes) Krobey, can you find me a jacket to wear if we're going out?

Krobelus: Do I look like a butler?

Celia: Do I look like I'm joking?

Young Kain: (grins) You could have THIS coat….

Celia: (shuts her eyes) I thought someone told you to put some clothes on, young man….

Sebastian snarls and tries to bite Raziel's arm.

Sebastian: I will never tell you anything!

Celia: (rounding on him) oh really? The sink may be full, but there are other ways…(she rolls up a ball of water between her fingers and regards him narrowly) Hold him still, Raz….

-----------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, halfway across town, The Glyph Knights, exhausted in their search for Sebastian, or even one of the Sarafan Lord's other Vampire Guardians, stagger into a bar and commandeer a few tables.

 Knight 1:  What are we going to do about Magnus, sir?

Knight Commander:  Nothing yet.  We have to find someone willing to pay for his release.

Knight 2: With all due respect- why don't we just leave him to rot, sir?

Commander:  Our Lord's (grimace)  servant told us to go round up Magnus.  If we come back empty handed-

Knight 1:  We're Cabal bait.

The knights gulp audibly. 

Knight 3: Don't we do that every night anyway?

Knight one cuffs him on the ear.  They sit in silence for a while, flinching every now and then as a vampire walks by and all of their armour lights up.  One fledgling, quite drunk, finds this immensely funny and walks past their tables several times, sniggering all the while. After the fifteenth time of this a man with shoulder-length wild dark hair sitting at the opposite table in a long leather trenchcoat and hat, gets annoyed and gets up, punching the vampire square in the nose.  The fledgling goes off into a corner to sulk. 

Knight Commander : My thanks.  This damned 'kill none' mandate is driving us insane.

Van Helsing : Tell me about it.


	12. The Correct Care and Feeding of Vampires

**RAISING MERIDIAN**

**Correct Care and Feeding of Vampires**

_Disclaimer: Legacy of Kain created by Eidos. Krobelus created by Volition & THQ: Kurt Wagner belongs to Marvel comics. Lupa and Vladimir and their Nexus belong to Angel: Celia was created by Syvia out of a background of Mercedes Lackey. Most other characters have wandered onto the set by mistake._

At Vladimir's, Celia is holding a sphere of water above Sebastian's head as Krobelus and Raziel interrogate him. The three of them especially delight in a little trick where the water mage allows one drop to fall from the sphere, then stop in mid-air just above Sebastian's eye. It has not taken them long to get him to talk.  
  
Krobelus: (sweetly) And how exactly did you find us?

Sebastian: ... It- it was a book. A sheaf of papers with drawings of Kain inside it. I found it by the portal.  
  
Raziel tilts his head.  
  
Raziel: Do you have it still?

The water begins to drift downward and Sebastian nods wildly.  
  
Sebastian: Under my chest plate.  
  
Raziel goes after said book, but the water continues to drop. Sebastian whimpers. Krobelus gives the sphere an odd glance and then turns to Celia. He raises an eyebrow at the mage's stunned expression. Obviously she has ceased to pay attention to her waterworking.  
  
Krobelus: Celia?  
  
Celia: Huh?  
  
She flinches and loses the spell completely. Sebastian screams in terror as the water falls toward his face- and stops abruptly when a chunk of ice slaps him in the head. Krobelus lowers his hand, still glowing from the freeze spell, and continues to eye Celia suspiciously. Sebastian whimpers pitifully. Raziel, unconcerned by the goings on around him, finally produces the book.

Krobelus: (hisses at Celia) Well? What is wrong with you?  
  
Celia: (winces) That's my sketchbook.  
  
Raziel looks at it, then at her, and gives Celia an exasperated look.

Krobelus: (sardonically) Oh, well done- leading the vampire here.

Celia: (defensively) No one got hurt.  
  
Raziel: Only because the sight of Kain (shudder) naked startled him so badly.

Celia: (ignoring that) And not only did no one get hurt- we even caught him! I'd say leaving that sketchbook was a good thing.  
  
Raziel: It was still poor stealth tactics…

Celia: But a good lure!  
  
Raziel: (shakes his head) It is not a lure unless you intentionally leave it.

Celia: (inscensed) Well if you'd seen a maniac vampire fall out of a Gate, what would you have done?

Raziel & Krobelus: (without hesitation) Killed it.

Celia: Vladimir said run, so we ran. I forgot the book and …oh dear....

Raziel: 'Oh dear'? 'Oh dear' what?  
  
But Celia has already run out of the kitchen and into the living room, where Lupa and Young Kain are curled on the sofa, now fully clothed... or at least as much as they ever are.  
  
Celia: Lupa- ( she swats at the wolf-girl's arm) there's no time for that right now- we forgot about that other vampire!  
  
Lupa: Mmm? (languidly) What other vampire?  
  
Celia: The crazy one- the one with the potbelly stove on his back!

Lupa: (bored) So…not a pretty one, then.

Celia: (exasperated) If Vladimir was here he'd be worried…he saw the thing…it was huge and had less sane brain cells than a rabid dog…

Raziel: (happily digging his talons into Sebastian's arm) ..or Kain.

Krobelus: (from behind Celia) Don't worry…my subordinates will no doubt have picked him up. Anyone showing any signs of violent mental instability around here is soon noticed. You're quite safe…..what are you looking at me like that for?  
  
Celia: (who has, in truth, been looking at him oddly) Nothing. Just something Lupa told me.  
  
Krobelus: You mean you actually LISTEN to her?  
  
Celia: Better than listening to YOU.  
  
Krobelus: (clasps big gauntleted hands to his chest, mock-wounded) Oh! She got me...I'm...I'm _dying..._  
  
He slumps dramatically against the sofa, eyes closed. Lupa giggles at him.  
  
Celia: (crossly) You know...you really ARE a freak.  
  
Krobelus: (opens one eye) I know. It's what makes me so deeply loveable.  
  
Celia: (pause) ....Ewwww.

Raziel has hoisted Sebastian up by his collar and is dragging him through the kitchen and towards the utility room.

Lupa: What are you doing with him?

Raziel: (thoughtfully) nothing..nothing…does Vladimir have a hose to water the plants out here with?

Sebastian starts to shriek. The door to the utility room bangs loudly behind Raziel.

Sebastian's voice: I shall tell you nothing! _Nothing_!

Raziel's voice: (mock-surprise) Why, whatever can _this_ be? Is it a plant mister?

Sebastian's voice: No!!

Raziel's voice: Oh, I think it is.

His unsettling laugh is almost drowned out under the sound of Sebastian's terrified screaming. Celia rolls her eyes.

Celia: (after a moment, to Krobelus) Wanna go blow stuff up?

Krobelus: (pause) …Yeah, okay.

They sneak off to the back garden and square off on the long sides of the new swimming pool, unheeded by either Young Kain or Lupa. Celia does a few stretches. Krobelus waits until she has finished before cracking one shoulder, then the other, then his elbows, wrists - Celia raises an eyebrow as he continues with his knuckles and finally his neck. The watermaster makes a face, shuddering, and Krobelus attacks.  
  
A gust of wind picks up half the contents of the pool, casting them in a wave over Celia's side of the pool. Krobleus follows it up with a bolt of lightning. For a moment there is silence, and Krobleus grins at the thought of such an easy victory. Then the glow of violet energy clears.  
  
Celia gazes at him calmly from within a sphere of water, the shields she had collected during his display have absorbed the water he cast at her. They have also absorbed the electricity into their gently twisting walls.  
  
Krobelus glares, then jumps back as Celia's undine fountains up out of the swimming pool. He freezes the undine in seconds, just barely managing to call up the wind needed to push back Celia's follow-up; a sphere of electrified water from her shields. The sphere leaves a scorch mark on the eucalyptus tree it hits.  
  
The two mages eye each other from across the pool, and smirk.  
  
Krobelus: Have we dispensed with the foreplay then?  
  
Celia: (raises an eyebrow) And the duration of your last relationship was what - two days?

Krobelus's eyes narrow: he throws his arms out and icy fire crawls down from his elbows to gather in his palms.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Krobelus correctly assumed, Magnus is still confined in the cells of the Insane and Dangerous Lock-up. Two new Duty Mages have just come on shift, and are watching the (currently) single prisoner carefully. Magnus is curled up like a puppy... an especially grotesque and mutilated puppy, in the center. Every so often he whines and his legs twitch as if he is running in his sleep.

Mage 1: Is it just me... or is he kind of sweet?

Mage 2: (gives her a look) Believe me, it's just you.

Mage 1: What? Look- he's all sleeping and helpless.

Mage 2: (boggles at her) Were you _there_ when we caught him? (the other mage shakes her head) This creature can rip a through a car - and I mean literally through it- as if the car were tissue paper. It tried to incinerate one of the mages with his mind. Luckily all it got was a postbox. He's insane, and cannot be reasoned with. I don't see how you can find that 'sweet'.

Mage 1: (eyes melt, looking at Magnus) ...But look at his widdle wegs moving-

Mage 2: (groans) You're just an idiot, you are.

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In Vladimir's back yard, Krobelus and Celia are leaning up against the same side of the now empty swimming pool. Both are sopping wet, Krobelus' dark hair, revealed, as his helmet had been knocked off by a stray sphere, is plastered to his face. He wipes it back slowly and sighs, giving the watermage a sidelong glance.  
  
Celia's blouse, although not see-through, is clinging to her skin, leaving nothing to the  
imagination. Krobelus is not unaware of this, nor was he unaware of it when it happened, which allowed his opponent to get in the blow that knocked him into the pool.

Celia: (panting) I still say - that I won.  
  
Krobelus: (equally out of breath, scoffs) I tricked you - on my last bit of energy. I could have done it - any time.  
  
Celia: You - only tricked me – because - you couldn't go anymore. I won.  
  
Krobelus: (glares) I can go - for as long as I want - any time I want.  
  
Celia looks at him, smiling, then begins to laugh weakly. Krobelus raises an eyebrow at her.  
  
Krobelus: What?  
  
Celia continues to laugh, slumping against the pool wall. Krobelus' glare melts into confusion, and he thinks about what he'd said. Celia continues to laugh and suddenly Krobelus understands why. He smirks, then begins chuckling. It isn't long before the mages are leaning against each other, weak with mirth.  
  
As their laughter slows, Krobelus realizes that Celia is sitting very close to him - almost snuggling underneath his arm, and she seems to be aware of this.  
  
Celia: (relaxed) I still say I won.  
  
Krobelus: (amused) Can you never give me the last word?  
  
Celia: (also amused) Why should I give it to you? You take so often.  
  
Krobelus: (shrugs) Call it a gift.  
  
Celia: Call this a gift instead…  
  
Krobelus: Call what a -  
  
He is cut off by Celia's lips on his.

At the front of the house, Kurt and Vladimir reappear on Vladimir's graveled driveway. The mutant staggers, the effort of teleporting with a passenger taking its toll on him, and sits down heavily on the gravel.

Vladimir: (relieved) I'm home! And this time no-one's blown up my house!

Kurt: (weakly) My head…ouch…

Vladimir: Where is everyone? Lupa? Krobelus…?

Kurt: (crossly, to himself, as Vladimir hurries off around the side of the house) "Why, thankyou, Kurt. You saved me from a truly horrible fate." "Ach, it was nothing, Vladimir. It was simplicity itself." "But you must be exhausted." "Nein, nein, it is nothing, I don't even need a hand getting up, I like sitting on the ground…"

Vladimir finds Lupa hovering in the back doorway of the house, peering out with interest into the garden, which is drenched, water dripping from trees and flowers alike. She hugs him happily, glad to see him safe. Behind her, Young Kain is looking at all the water in disgust and staying very carefully indoors.

Vladimir: What is going on? Why is everything all wet?  
  
Lupa: I'm not sure…Celia and Krobelus went out here a while ago… (her eyes widen) Oh no! They've killed each other! Oh, I knew it was a mistake, mages don't play well together…

Vladimir: (looks at her in horror) You knew, and you didn't stop them?

Lupa: (thinking) Although…If Krobelus had died, the elemental inside him would have been released…not the kind of thing that goes ignored. But he might've killed Celia…

Vladimir: (quickly) No, no, no…the entire Nexus would've been flooded if he'd done that – her Undines would have thrown a fit.

Lupa: (relieved) Then they must both be okay! (soothingly rubs Vladimir's back) See, Mir, lovey, all that fuss for nothing.

Vladimir: They may not have died, but that doesn't mean Krobelus hasn't turned evil again! (panicking again) You know what he's like!! The last time he went bad it took us weeks to subdue him! Oh, we don't need this right now.

He goes cautiously around the hedge and peeks down into the empty pool. Lupa, who is right behind him, catches on to what's happened immediately and smirks widely.

Lupa: (admiring) Why, Krobelus…I never knew you had it in you.

Vladimir: (aghast) my pool! What did you do to my _pool_?!!

Lupa: (eyeing the flood destruction all around) Well, if this is what happens when you make out with a mage – no offence, Krobelus, hun, but I'm glad I missed it.

Krobelus: (who is an exceptionally poor liar) We were not making out!! (Celia jabs him in the ribs) …oh, all right.

Celia: I'm sorry about your pool, 'Mir…we were fighting and we got a bit carried away…

Lupa: (grinning) So I see…

Krobelus: (looking slightly embarrassed at Vladimir's stricken expression) I can fix it. Really. A quick rainstorm? (he flexes one hand, and a few sparks crackle, but nothing more impressive)…but you may have to wait an hour…or…so…

His voice tails off because Lupa is giggling helplessly.

Lupa: (between giggles) Oh…oh my…Celia, whatever have you done to my poor mage?!

Celia: (going crimson) Nothing!

Lupa: (pursuing relentlessly) You've completely drained him! You MUST be good!

Vladimir: Spare me the gory details, please! We have other problems more pressing than Krobelus losing his mojo!

Krobelus: What?!! I'm FINE!!

Celia: (pats his arm) Yes, yes, you're fine. Don't listen to the silly kitty.

Krobelus: Celia, light of my life…don't patronise me. (a tiny lightning bolt leaps from the end of his finger to her nose, and she squeaks with laughter)

Vladimir: (practically bouncing with annoyance) Hello? Rogue vampires in my Nexus?

Old Kain: (from behind them all) One less now.

He drops a stunned Faustus onto the lawn, narrowly avoiding a puddle, and looks patiently smug.

Old Kain: Well? This is where you all tell me I'm wonderful.

Vladimir: Do I have to? Haven't I suffered enough?

Lupa: (staring at Faustus) Oooo. He's still so pretty…apart from the bruises… (she catches the old vampire's glower and rapidly changes tack) Oooh, Kain. You're _amazing_.

Vladimir: (peering at Faustus) What happened to the bald one?

Old Kain: (shrugs) Marcus? Escaped. But he won't get far. He never did have the courage of a baby rabbit.

On the ground, Faustus groans. Old Kain off-handedly kicks him in the temple and the younger vampire relapses into unconsciousness.

Lupa: (indicating the house) Raziel has another one in there. He was last seen trying to extract more information using Vladimir's plant mister.

Old Kain: (almost visibly, his hackles go up) Another one?

Celia: Yeah, a silver-haired speed freak.

Old Kain: (big, happy grin) Sebastian…

He stares suspiciously at Lupa's neck, and his eyes flare angrily.

Old Kain: Did he…bite you…?

Lupa clamps a hand over the hickey on her throat.

Lupa: (suddenly subdued) Uh…no.

Old Kain: That looked like a vampire bite…I should know.

Lupa: Nope! Cut myself..uh..shaving! (she backs off as Old Kain advances)

Old Kain: (to Vladimir and the others) If Sebastian has bitten her, she may be in his thrall.

Lupa: I'm not in anybody's thrall! Look at me! See? Completely without thrall!

Young Kain peeks out of the house, curious as to what all the fuss is about. He has put his trousers back on, but is still lacking in shirt. Lupa's eyes glaze over.

Lupa: Must…have…pretty…vampire…

Vladimir: (nods) Completely without thrall. That's my girl.

Old Kain: (realisation dawning) Oh, NO. No, no, no…

Celia: (to Krobelus, stroking his hair) Well, at least no-one's going to be bothering about US for a while…(Krobelus grins)

Old Kain: (face screwed up in disgust) If I was still capable of throwing up…

Vladimir: (in a self-imposed agony of anally-retentive cleanliness) Not in the pool! I'd have to have it cleaned…

Old Kain: (turning on his younger self in a fury) YOU! You over-sexed, half-witted, blood-lusting parody of a vampire!!

Young Kain: (eyes narrow) What? Are you talking to me? (he grins with a flash of fangs) Oh no, I'm sorry…you must be talking to yourself.Old Kain roars furiously and chases his younger self back into the house. From inside, Raziel's sardonic tones can be heard quite clearly.

Raziel's voice: What, are we allowed to kill him now? You should have said…I'd have saved you the trouble…here…do you want to borrow the spray-bottle?

Sister Mattie, fervent doyenne of the Order of Happy Contact, stands in the middle of a crowded mall giving hugs to all the people of the Nexus she can reach (or just those not quick enough to get out of the way). Abruptly, she feels a tug on her sleeve. As is her wont, she turns and hugs the person trying to get her attention before she knows who it is.

Marcus, said attention-grabber, grunts and quickly pushes her away.

Sister Mattie: (delighted) Brother Flutey! Where in this cute little Nexus have you been for so long, and...whatever happened to your vestments?

Marcus glances down at the robes he has 'borrowed' from Sister Dantea, which are hanging off his lanky body. He lifts the hem to keep from stepping on it and steps close to Mattie.

Marcus: (frantically inventing) I've received a message from Agoran. There's a shortage on hugs and they need my aid right away!

Sister Mattie: (gasps) How terrible! I'll send a few of our acolytes to help-

Marcus: No! No, no the thought is appreciated, but this is a job I alone can do. I am skilled in…uh…power-hugging.

He gnashes his teeth as she snatches him up to cuddle him.

Sister Mattie: Oh Brother Flutey, you are a shining beacon of the Order. We are so blessed to –

Marcus: (trying to forestall) Indeed. Blessed.

Sister Mattie: Agoran has surely spared us its finest son in our hour of need!

Marcus: Yes, yes I get the point.

Mattie finally releases him, only to smile up at him with tears in her eyes. Marcus waits. She continues to smile. Marcus clears his throat.

Marcus: ...Um... my mind?

Mattie: Yes?

Marcus: The psychic shield you put on my bloody _mind_?

Mattie: Oh, it was easy.

Marcus: Yes, and can you _remove_ it now?

Mattie: Oh!

She places her hands on his head, and for once, Marcus enjoys the contact, because with the touch, suddenly he can hear the minds around him.

Marcus: (slowly, a little smile spreading across his face) Why, thankyou, Sister. Do you know, I think I shall go and meditate for a little while on the nature of…Contact…before returning to Agoran…

Mattie: Wonderful!

She grabs his arm with far more strength than anyone of her stature should possess.

Mattie: You can perform the Meditation of the Soup! And I thought meditation was outmoded in our sister dimensions…

Marcus growls. Mattie drags him back to the soup counter and fits him with another Official Apron. As she turns to leave, Marcus eyes the other acolytes briefly before deciding it would be safer to take control of one of the mallgoers. He picks a likely candidate and unobtrusively raises his hands.

A small hand catches his, and Marcus flinches as he realizes Sister Mattie has come up beside him again.

Mattie: Be nice to the hug-less ones, Brother Flutey. It would be just _awful_ if any of them began acting strangely because of your _charming_ personality.

Marcus flinches, looking at her in shock which he hastens to conceal. How much of his mind had been revealed while she took down the shield, let alone when she put it up in the first place?

Mattie pats his face affectionately and gives him a brief cuddle before leaving. Deciding it would be safer to lay low for a while longer, Marcus keeps his head down and goes back to spooning soup and dispensing hugs. Soon, however, he hears a semi-familiar voice becoming louder with each passing moment.

Glyph Knight: Look, free food!

Glyph Commander: Let's go, men.

Marcus looks up and swears under his breath as the Knights troop over to the soup counter and immediately recognize him.

Glyph Knight: Sir Marcus?! What in hell are you doing here?

Marcus: (hissing) I'm handing out soup, you fool, what does it look like? Now get out of here before you blow my cover!

The Knight Commander seems to understand, even if the others don't, and orders his subordinates to get soup and seat themselves nearby.

Commander: Sir, we found Magnus in this dimension's dungeons. They're holding him upon pain of billing and we don't have enough money to retrieve him.

Marcus: (groans) Well get someone else to deal with it! Do you think I have that kind of authority?

Commander: We haven't seen Sir Sebastian for hours, Sir. We would have simply broken him out, but the mages there were too powerful.

Marcus sighs heavily and glares at the knight.

Marcus: Very well, idiots. Here is what we shall do.


End file.
